Our sons Ty and John were seven and five at the time, and we were expecting our third child, our first little girl (Joy). I began having problems during my fifth month of pregnancy, and on March 12, Joy was born and ushered immediately into the arms of Jesus. This traumatic event was exacerbated by the fact that I came close to losing my own life during the delivery process. To make matters worse, while I was in the hospital, Joe and I got word that the state department of education had just set a date in mid-May for the first public hearing to be held on home schooling in South Carolina. Due to the time constraints, Joe and I were forced to begin planning that public hearing from my hospital room.

Because we were homeschooling, Ty and John had been very involved in making plans for the new baby. When Joy died, they were devastated. They grieved deeply over the little sister they would never know this side of heaven. God taught us many things as a family through Joy’s life and death. One of the greatest lessons we learned is that time with our children is a precious gift He gives that we should not take for granted or wish away. We knew we would have eternity to spend with Joy in heaven, but we would not have that gift of time with her here on earth. We felt that loss every day.

A year and a half after Joy’s birth and death, the Lord blessed our family with a second little girl, Elizabeth, whom the boys quickly and affectionately dubbed Lizzy. Before Lizzy was born, Ty sat me down and posed a question that had been troubling him: “Mom, how do you make a baby love you?” Ty had been anticipating the joy of having a little sister for almost two years at this point, and he wanted her to love him as much as he already loved her.

When Lizzy was just a few weeks old, Ty (then nine years old) appeared by my bedside at two o’clock in the morning, cradling her in his arms. “Mom, I heard Lizzy crying, so I changed her and rocked her, but I think she needs to nurse. And, Mom, you remember when I asked you how to make a baby love you? Now I know. You hold her and love her and help her and spend lots of time with her.” As Ty slipped quietly out of the room, I marveled at the simple but powerful wisdom God had revealed to him.

We argue a lot today over time. Our new societal mantra regarding child rearing is, “Quality time, not quantity time.” However, the old adage remains true: Children spell love “t-i-m-e.” There is really no shortcut. Quality time arises out of, not in lieu of, quantity time.

I homeschooled our three children, through high school, for a total of twenty-one years. During those years, I had the privilege of spending a great deal of time with them, individually and corporately. Much of our time together was spent in the uneventful unfolding of life—the routine of household chores, schoolwork, church, and recreation. In the midst of our most mundane days, discussions arose concerning the great issues of life. It is hard to schedule quality time. You certainly cannot mandate it with a child. Rather, quality time is something that emerges in the midst of the dailiness of life as you live it together.

The words of Deuteronomy 6:4-7 establish the standard: “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.”

These verses presuppose that we are spending a lot of time with our children. As we are engaged in the routines of life with them, we are to constantly repeat and rehearse the great truths of God with them. As we daily lay down our lives for our children, we are to teach them about Jesus Christ, who gave His life for us. This way of life infuses quality time into every second we spend with them.

Now that Ty, John, and Elizabeth are grown and gone, I can testify that the time you have with your children passes more quickly than you can ever imagine. Be good stewards of that time. Enjoy it. It is a gift and trust from God. Truly, one of the best gifts you can give your children is your time.

Portions of this article are excerpted from 7 Tools for Cultivating Your Child’s Potential and are used with permission from Apologia Press.

The post The Gift of Time appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

In those early years in South Carolina, home schooling parents were required to have their children take standardized tests in classrooms in the public schools for which they were zoned. I have vivid memories of taking my sweet little boys (Ty and John) to these schools and handing them over to teachers they did not know, to sit in a classroom full of children they did not know. They were required to take these important year-end tests in totally unfamiliar, and sometimes unfriendly, environments. Rather than serving as helpful diagnostic tools, the test scores became a large part of the criteria our local school board used to determine whether or not we could continue homeschooling.

While Ty and John were testing, I spent a good deal of time wandering around the halls of the schools, examining the facilities as well as the samples of artwork and schoolwork that were displayed on the walls in the various corridors.

The schools in our public school district are expensive and well kept. Every year I would experience a new round of angst and depression as I surveyed those first-rate facilities that my sons were “missing out” on. The grounds were well –cared for. The playgrounds were well equipped. There were art rooms and music rooms; the cheery school cafeteria also doubled as an auditorium with a stage for performances and programs.

In those early years I often wondered if our modest home could come close to offering our children the same opportunities that our school district’s multi-million-dollar facilities could offer.

Important Lessons Learned the Hard Way

During the past 20 years of home schooling, I have made some discoveries that have surprised me and that I hope will encourage you.

1. Facilities do not educate or teach.
2. For home schooling families, the world truly becomes your classroom. Field trips, travel opportunities, mission trips, and internships expand your child’s horizons far beyond the walls of the most beautifully appointed classroom.
3. Time with immediate and extended family abounds because your child is not confined to a school schedule or classroom, beautiful though it may be.
4. One-on-one education that focuses on the needs and gifts of each student empowers the child and encourages him to become a lifelong learner.
5. In the home school environment, dialogue and constant interactions are the norm—and number in the hundreds daily. In the traditional classroom environment, the child has personal interaction with the teacher on average about eight to ten times a day. Constant dialogue is crucial in developing critical thinking and leadership skills.
6. In the home school, education and “real” life intersect on a daily basis.
7. God is the Ultimate Superintendent of Education. He orchestrates opportunities for our children that we could never imagine. The presence of the living God transforms the most humble home into a holy place of powerful learning and growth.

The Answer to the Question

What should a home school classroom look like?

Henry Ward Beecher, a pastor in the 1800s and brother of Harriet Beecher Stowe, said this: “The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom.”

Proverbs 24:4 says, “By knowledge the rooms are filled with every precious and beautiful treasure” (Holman Christian Standard Bible).

From these two sources we learn that our hearts, which are the child’s schoolroom, must be appropriately decorated. If we allow Christ to be our Interior Decorator, He will create the most fabulous schoolroom imaginable for our children—a room that is furnished with “precious and beautiful treasure.”

When our schoolrooms mirror Christ, they become the most exquisite, effective classrooms in the world.

Lord Jesus, please decorate our lives and homes with precious and beautiful treasures from the storehouse of Your unfathomable riches and grace.

The post What Should Your Child’s Classroom Look Like? appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

Then I realized—sometimes making the decision to homeschool is more draining than home schooling itself. Even though their children are doing very well at home, many mothers agonize annually over whether to continue homeschooling. Here are some suggestions that I hope will help you discern God’s will for the coming school year.

1. We need to put our agonizing into perspective by accepting the fact that “agonizing” is part of the home schooling mother’s job description—and move on. When we realize that constant agonizing and re-evaluation are just part of the process, we do not have to consider putting our kids in school every time we find a new situation over which to agonize!
2. Take a day off to spend in prayer, meditation, and seeking the Lord. If you cannot afford a babysitter, switch days with a friend. While things are quiet and you are alone, take the time to review your reasons for homeschooling in the first place. If you have never written a philosophy of education, this would be a good time to do it. In my early years of homeschooling, I used to get out my written version of “Why I Homeschool” to remind myself of those reasons on difficult days. Sometimes a few hours of quiet and “alone” time will help you put things in perspective and will give you the time you need to order your thoughts and prayers as you seek God’s guidance.
3. Do not be afraid to admit where you think you have failed. There is not a home schooling parent or a classroom teacher in this country who is perfect. We all have shortcomings and areas in which we need to improve. Write down the areas that you perceive to be problematic for you and/or your children and begin seeking solutions. Oftentimes, if we allow them to float nebulously around in our heads, problems seem bigger than they are. By giving voice to them, by writing them down, we can often put them in a clearer perspective.

   Are you disappointed in your child’s math scores? Hire a tutor, change curriculum, or be more consistent in daily work. Has your child’s behavior been a problem? Record in writing the specific behavior that is bothering you and look for positive solutions. Sometimes your husband, mother, or friend can help you to be more objective about behaviors that need to be changed and help you find positive ways to deal with those changes as well. Do not be afraid to ask for help—it takes a strong person to go to another for advice.

   The point is to identify the problem areas that are nagging at you. Commit them to the Lord and trust Him to help you deal with them. You do not have to put your children into a “real” school because your home school is not perfect. There is no perfect home school, nor is there a perfect institutional school.

4. Write down and reflect upon the progress you and your children have made, as well as the things that have been successful. Remember to thank the Lord for His faithfulness. We tend to overlook the fifty good things about the year while we focus on three negative aspects. Be optimistic. Everyone will be happier.
5. Remember that if your children were “in school,” neither your life nor theirs would be problem-free. Do not fall prey to the “grass is always greener” mentality. Ask your friends whose children are in school what are problems with which they are struggling. You will be surprised.
6. If this has been your first year to homeschool, take heart. The second year is almost always better and more manageable. It is like the difference in your freshman and sophomore years of high school or college—once you know the ropes, things get easier.
7. Call a friend who has been homeschooling longer than you have and ask her how she has decided to continue homeschooling year after year.
8. Consider going to the “block” decision-making process. Divide your children’s education into four segments: K5-second grade; third grade-fifth grade; sixth grade-eighth grade; and high school. Commit to home schooling one block at a time. That gives you the freedom to plan overall goals for three to four years at a time, without feeling like you have committed to a thirteen-year process. This method allows you to channel your energies into planning for the next year, rather than committing all of your energy into trying to decide whether or not to homeschool again.

   I can still remember the freedom I experienced in 1990 when I decided to homeschool my fifth grader through the eighth grade. I quit worrying about how long I was going to homeschool and began focusing my energies toward the education process itself. Remember, your decision is not irreversible.

9. Do not allow yourself to fall prey to peer pressure. Do not homeschool because you feel pressure from others to continue. By the same token, do not decide to put your children into an institutional school because of the pressure of others.

   Remember the words of the Lord recorded in Joshua, “Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous? Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

10. 10. Above all, remember that this is a short season in your child’s life. Now that I have two children who have graduated from college and my youngest will be a senior in high school next year, I can tell you how quickly the years pass. Do not let your fears rob you of these precious, irretrievable years with your children.

If I had only one thing I could change about our home schooling experience, I would worry less and enjoy my family more. However, as a veteran home schooling mom who has agonized much and made many mistakes during my twenty-year tenure, I can honestly say it has all been worth it. I would not trade the priceless gems that we as a family have mined together during the years for anything this world has to offer.

My advice to you is simply this: Go for it! May God be with you and your family as you seek to raise your children in a manner that is pleasing to Him.

Zan Tyler is the home school resource and media consultant for Broadman and Holman Publishers and home school editor for LifeWay Christian Resources, on the Web at www.lifeway.com/homeschool. She and her husband, Joe, have three children and have been homeschooling since 1984.

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