The event was a time of sweet fellowship among home school families, at which parents and children alike were encouraged and edified by one another, but I was hungry for the more intimate fellowship of a smaller group. I also had a very heavy burden for my teenage boys, and as I watched them visit with the other teens, I noticed that they had little interaction with the men. I was blessed to see men attend the family event with their wives and children, and I was grateful to see dads encouraging one another, but I knew my boys needed men in their lives who would purposefully and intentionally mentor them. The interaction they had at these large events was simply not enough.

I realized that night that my children and I were in a new season in our lives, and while I thanked the Lord for the sweet friendship and fellowship that He had always provided for our family, I began to pray for men who would be willing to mentor my boys.

I am always amazed at the ways in which the Lord answers my prayers. Not only did He provide my boys with mentors, but He blessed us with the lasting friendship of two families who opened their hearts and their homes to us. When the Lord impressed upon my heart two families in which the men had already extended an open hand of friendship to my sons, I asked those families if they would be willing to have a Bible study with our family. We began to meet twice a month to share a meal together and spend some time studying the Word. We sang together, worshiped together, and ate together; these two dads walked alongside my boys and became surrogate fathers to them.

While our three families met together during that season, we also became regular guests in each of their homes and were quite comfortable fellowshipping with them as individual families–despite the fact that ours was a single-parent family. Although I had hosted many events in my home for our home school group, my friendship with these families gave me the courage and confidence I needed to open my home to the more intimate fellowship that is shared when two or three families come together to share a meal and fellowship. We were no longer a broken home that needed to hide behind the crowd of a large group so that no one would notice ours was a single-parent family. We were a whole family that was welcomed into the fellowship of another whole family. What began as a season of loneliness became a season of sweet friendship, rest, and growth.

There are seasons to all things, and families need different types of fellowship at different seasons. But, the saying we all heard as children still holds true: “To have a friend, you must first be a friend.” I have met many home school moms who are desperately lonely, just as I was during that difficult season in my life. Although social media may be a good way to meet other home school families, it is not a substitute for face-to-face contact, and although larger home school events fill an important need in the home school community, home school parents–especially home school moms–also need the encouragement and edification that is shared between friends.

Friendships are built when people share their hearts and their lives with one another, and as home schooling has grown and the world has become connected by the Internet and social media, every home school family knows at least one other home school family, so there are countless opportunities to build community and fellowship with one another. You do not have to have a large home, be a leader in the home school group, or have all the answers to every home schooling dilemma to reap the blessings of opening your home and your heart to another.

Every family–whether it is a two-parent home, a single-parent home, parents of many, or parents of one–can find ways to connect with others. Invite another family to share a meal. If you feel your home is not adequate to host even one or two families, do not let that stop you from fellowship. Invite one or two other families to a cookout in the park. Be proactive in your home school support group and help host events–large-group fellowships do fill a need! Be attentive to the needs of others within your group–perhaps your family is the one called to open their doors to a single-parent family or a family with younger children. Befriend a family with a special needs child and learn how to help them. There are countless opportunities for fellowship, so open your home—you may find that the Lord has opened wide the door of your heart and filled it to overflowing with the sweet blessing of fellowship.

The post Opening Hearts and Homes appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

We all begin leadership for various reasons. Some leaders start groups because they need fellowship, and some come into an existing group and see a need or a leader who is struggling with the load and offer their assistance. Other leaders may take a leadership position because they feel a sense of obligation to the group. A few are asked to lead. There are many reasons that people find themselves in leadership positions, and there are many reasons people stay in leadership positions. Often those reasons change through the years. Some may feel there is no one to replace them, or no one wants to replace them. Others stay in leadership because they feel needed and enjoy serving; these all seem to be noble and legitimate reasons to lead and continue leading, but are they only surface answers to the question why?

Norm’s questions were far more specific than just “why?” (I challenge you to order the audio if you missed the LTC), but I realized just asking that question required a heart search. I think many of us will find the answer is a little more complex than it first appears. Do we lead with a selfless desire to serve, or would a deep heart search reveal a need to be recognized or a desire for power or position? There is rarely one solid answer to the question why, and more often I think the real answer is a complex mix of self and service. But I think we should ask ourselves the question and truly search our hearts for the answer. Few things rarely require a deep heart search, but those deep searches pull from us vision and purpose. Are the answers important? Of course, but I think it is the asking that really changes us.

May God reveal answers as you ask the question, “Why do I lead?”

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It is clear to see that planning events and attending board meetings are a part of leadership; but when it comes to mentoring, offering support and advice, and simply extending the hand of friendship, leaders sometimes forget that these, too, are part of leadership. If enthusiasm and concern for the group has faded in the leadership team and leaders are acting out of duty rather than connecting with the members, that fading spirit will soon be reflected in the membership as well.

Participation in group functions begins to wane, and eventually the group can wither and die.

When groups begin to fade, it is easy for those in leadership to point to the membership – or lack thereof – as the chief cause. It is important to remember there are life cycles in support groups – groups do ebb and flow between times of intense activity and times when families need respite from the activities and a break is required. This will be more evident in smaller groups in which there are fewer people to carry on the work, but also keep in mind – life and leadership are connected, and when a leader no longer carries influence with a group, it could be because his life is no longer connected with the group.

Sometimes it’s not only one leader, but the entire leadership team that has lost its feel for the pulse of the group. There are many reasons why leaders can lose influence and connection with their group. Before simply “throwing in the towel” and disbanding the group or leaving it to wither and die, leaders should stop and consider why the group is waning and why they no longer have influence or a connection with the group. They should also determine why they are ready to quit and whether they are truly ready to move on.

Perhaps, for example, the leadership consists primarily of older moms with older students who have strong friendships outside the group and no longer need the fellowship and structured activities the group provides, or maybe the leaders have extended their roles as mentor/leader to other areas or people outside the support group and no longer have the time to devote to developing relationships within the group. Sometimes the dynamics of the membership have changed, and perhaps the leaders no longer have as much in common with the general membership; therefore they no longer carry as much influence. For whatever reason, the lives of the leaders are simply no longer connected with their group.

Leaders who have a heart for home school families will want to thoroughly investigate whether there is a need for a support group in the community before letting their group fade away. If a need is determined, they should investigate what they can do to revive the group, rather than let it die. They can either reconnect as leaders or pass the position on to others.

Many times when groups are fading or the leadership is no longer exerting an influence, there are home school families still meeting and fellowshipping with each other. Finding new leaders and/or reconnecting with the group may simply mean purposely devoting time to developing relationships and mentoring those who already have influence within the home school community.

If families aren’t meeting, it might indicate a need for advertising the group and making sure the community knows your group is there or taking the time to reconnect with those former members and just beginning to develop relationships with them.

Leadership is an important role, but it is more than just a position; it is part of a lifestyle.

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Home school support groups can also pass through various seasons, and eventually most groups must weather the storms of spring. While we may not have any control over the weather, there are some things leaders can do to help lessen the severity of the storms that may threaten our group.

When groups are not directly in the midst of a conflict, leaders rarely want to address the unpleasant topic of dealing with conflict, but learning how to deal with conflict is an important skill for all leaders, and seasons of peace may be the best time to train leaders in conflict resolution and peacemaking. In fact, there are many aspects of general leadership training and team building that although they are not directly related to conflict resolution, can help reduce conflict and build a strong leadership team that is better equipped to handle the storms that life may bring. Leaders should consider that even just a small amount of time invested into training not only for themselves, but also for those under them could be one of their most valuable contributions to the group. There are many great resources available to leaders, and a quick Internet search will produce several. THSC also has several resources available just for support group leaders.

Although some conflicts may catch us by surprise, leaders can become weather watchers and anticipate oncoming storms and thereby reduce the damage these storms may cause by preparing for them at their earliest onset. Spring is a season of new growth, and new growth can give birth to new ideas, and both new growth and new ideas can indicate your group is in a season of spring, so watch for storms. Tender young plants do not often have the ability to weather storms like established plants, so it is important to shelter them from the harsh elements until they have had a chance to establish roots. The same can be true when choosing new leaders, so give new members a chance to become well established in the group before asking them to take on the responsibility of leadership. At the same time, leaders should keep in mind that new growth will also bring its own uniqueness, and it is important to make room for that new growth so that it has a chance to establish itself and isn’t completely squelched by the existing foliage. Leaders should guard against becoming so set and established that they are not open to new ideas–especially from younger members of the group.

While some degree of conflict or differing opinions may be as unavoidable as spring rain, it is possible to help prepare your leadership team for those spring storms and thereby avoid the destruction that they may cause, reaping only the benefits of a spring rain in new character growth, new blooms, and strengthened roots.

The post Weathering the Storms of Leadership appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

These leaders make an effort to be diligent to seek God’s will for the group and are flexible and creative enough to implement ideas and events that excite members and yet move the group in the right direction. Leaders who are visionary try to have the forethought and resourcefulness to build within the members of their group the character and ideals that make home schooling more than just an educational choice. They encourage their leadership team to think about and discuss the things that make home schooling unique-such as strong family ties-and plan events that encourage those traits within their membership. At each team meeting and certain group events, they try to make time to talk about their vision, and they participate in group activities and stay closely connected with the membership so they have a real feel for where the membership is going and whether or not it is moving in the intended direction.

Visionary leaders pray for confidence and direction, but they are careful to keep a close rein on their pride. Although leaders must often battle the tendency to micro-manage and the feeling that they are the only ones qualified to oversee the tasks of leadership, wise leaders know that “pride goes before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18), and pride can be the biggest hindrance to building vision within a leadership team or a group. Visionary leaders know that new leaders are more successful if they have the advantage of working with experienced leadership, and that means finding a balance that will allow new leaders to learn and still have the freedom to gain a sense of ownership. They are also careful to keep in mind that no one will do everything exactly the way they themselves do it or would like it done. Wise leaders realize mistakes are unavoidable and should be handled with grace, but they are also able to recognize the difference between an error and simply a different approach to the same project or problem.

Support group leadership is often viewed as a ministry, but wise leaders remind each other of Psalm 127:1-“Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain”—and they try to remember that the group belongs to God, not the leadership. When, as leaders, they feel burned-out and inadequate or notice those feelings in their fellow leaders, they encourage one another and together prayerfully consider whether it is time to pass on responsibilities. Also, a careful heart-search might be needed when leaders feel no one else is qualified to fill their position. Perhaps if no one else is qualified, it is possible that the time isn’t right to hand down the job, the position isn’t necessary and should be dropped, or pride is hindering. If God raised one person to fill the position, then when the time is right, He will raise another; wise leaders are careful not to stand in the way.

As leaders, we do not need to be reminded that we will make mistakes, but a wise leader will learn from mistakes, continue to grow in character, and continue to press on, ever mindful of the path that lies ahead and of those who follow.

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Whether you are planning a graduation, a major homeschool event, or you’re making plans to improve your leadership skills, we all know the results of good planning. Unfortunately, most of us also know the results of poor planning as well. Much of what I have read recently in regards to leadership and leadership training has emphasized the value of teamwork, and event planning is no exception. Good event planning requires teamwork.

It has been my experience, though, that when it comes to planning, teams are usually made up of people with different strengths and weaknesses. There are those who love to plan and those who love to do. Planners want to plan every event down to the smallest detail, and they enjoy the planning process so much that they spend countless hours planning, but sometimes they have trouble moving on to the actual work. Then there are those who don’t want to spend much time planning and are impatient to get on with the work. In almost every team on which I have served, there are usually both types of people, and it takes both personality types to do a good job. Because people are different, however, it is sometimes difficult to get people who function very differently to work together. The trick as leaders is to help people recognize their own strengths. This is a skill that I am still struggling to master, but a few tips I have learned are: spend much time in prayer, extend patience, and extol the virtues of each team member to the other members of the team. People rarely have trouble recognizing their own strengths; but if they can also recognize the strengths of others, real teamwork can happen, and those you are trying to serve will reap the benefits of a well-planned, well-organized and well-constructed event.

The post The Importance of Planning appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

To inspire means to motivate or encourage someone to greater effort, enthusiasm, or creativity. We can inspire others and motivate them with our actions, our words, and our own enthusiasm and efforts. I have known a few leaders whose very presence could change the atmosphere of a meeting. These people are simply bubbling over with energy, and it is contagious. Their voices, their body language, and their abundance of ideas, combined with their willingness to serve and implement those ideas soon have everyone excited and ready to jump in and help. Other leaders may be practical and steady, but their reliability and servant leadership is both calming and inspiring.

Whatever your personality or leadership style, your position as a leader is one of influence. If you are excited about home schooling and genuinely wish to encourage other home school families, eventually others will be motivated, and they, too, will feel that irresistible urge to pick up the baton and lead.

The post Inspirational Leadership appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

However, all of the special times during which we slowed down and lived heartily in the moment, the days that were empty of scheduled activities and planned events, the days that were not overcrowded with more to do than we could possibly accomplish—those days did not just happen by chance. They were carved out with care; they were carefully guarded and defended against a fast-paced world that could send us whirling through our days without pause.

My children still enjoyed field trips, drama, and co-op classes, but we had to choose our activities carefully and say “no” often.  Many times it was very difficult to choose between several good activities, classes, and lessons, and there were many semesters in which we found ourselves committed to a schedule that allotted us far less down time than we had anticipated. We knew our commitments directly impacted others—particularly commitments to our home school group activities—and so we would honor them, but fortunately, most of our commitments were only made one semester at a time. At the end of each semester, we would reevaluate our schedule and make adjustments.

I discovered, as the years passed and my children grew into teenagers, that a determination to slow down and savor life usually meant that we were almost continually adjusting the pace. That is not to say that we cannot enjoy a quick tempo at times, but running in place at high speed does not usually move us any closer to our destination. It often just wears us out, and fatigue can rob us of the pleasure we once found in the fast pace of the treadmill.

It seems that in our society today there is a continual push to do more, to accomplish more. For home schoolers, there are countless things to learn and study—enough to fill a lifetime and still never absorb even a fraction of the information available at our fingertips. At the same time, temptations abound that would rob us, both parents and children, of our time. We live in a society that begs to be entertained, a society that thrives on free time and often fills our minutes, hours, and days with movies, video games, social media, or some other form of entertainment. Then we wonder why we struggle to keep our focus and have trouble with our memory. With a constant influx of information, is it any wonder we do not absorb more when we never stop long enough to reflect on what we have seen, heard, and read?

The American culture is set on high speed, and it is much easier to find ourselves running with the pack than it is to get off the treadmill and slow down, but it is well worth the effort. For our family it meant limiting commitments outside our household, making tough decisions on curriculum choices and topics of study, and limiting some of our media exposure. We actually scheduled time to just sit on the front porch and read. However, every family is different, and each family must decide what pace is right for them. The tempo at which each family flows is unique and will ebb and flow at different speeds as the family grows through different seasons. We cannot compare ourselves to one another, but if you feel that life is moving a little fast, maybe it is time to step back and adjust the pace to slow.

The post Adjusting the Pace to Slow appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

Three Fundamentals of Effective Leadership
Leadership Vision
Home School Sports Programs
Audios: Summer Training for Your Team

June 2011 Leader Letter – PDF

The post June 2011 Leader Letter appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

I remember vividly the  day that we set the old school desk in the dining room and filled it with  workbooks, colors, handwriting paper with wide lines, new pencils, and other  school supplies. The beginning of an exciting adventure and a seemingly endless  ribbon of school days stretched out ahead of us. The days passed–both good and  bad–and quickly rolled into years; the day I handed a diploma to my youngest to  officially mark the end of our journey arrived all too soon. I could not help  but wonder that day if I had equipped each of my children with the education  and skills they would need to succeed in this world and leave a lasting imprint  on the future.

We all want our lives to  count for something beyond today, and we want the same thing for our children,  but our view is limited to the span of our lives. We cannot know what deed or  deeds may impact a future generation and what will simply be forgotten, but we  hope that by investing into the lives of our children, we will leave a lasting  imprint on the next generation for the betterment of that generation. We hope  that they, in turn, will leave an even bigger imprint on the world and the  generation in which they live.

I believe it is the duty  of all Christian parents to educate their children in the foundations of our  faith. As home educators we can teach all subjects from a biblical worldview,  but many parents want to give their children more than just a foundation in  their faith–they want to equip their children to be future leaders and the  world changers of tomorrow. The study of speech, leadership, worldview, and  evangelism are excellent subject choices for all young adolescents, and all of  these studies help shape who our children are and what they believe. We all–parents  and students alike–should understand and be aware of how we view the world (our  worldview) and be equipped to assume the responsibility of leadership and  defend our faith. We do not know the circumstances in which God may place us at  any given point in our lives. When we educate our children with a higher  purpose in mind, we try to provide them with the skills and knowledge they  might need should God choose to use them in mighty ways. We teach them about  other great men and women we hope they will have the courage to emulate, and we  encourage them to be prepared to be used by God in a powerful manner.

These are worthy goals. However,  we must also remember that God directs the paths of our children, and they must  also learn to be ordinary people who live out their lives in the world. We do not  know the path that God has laid out before each of our children. We may be  teaching and training the next great world leader, but it is also possible that  God may not orchestrate events in their lives that would allow them that  opportunity. I believe there lies within each of our children the potential to  become a daring and mighty man or woman of God who may change the course of  history and be remembered for generations to come as a world changer, but as God  directs the course of each life, there may not be opportunity to perform heroic  feats of faith or to advance to a high position of leadership. Rather, theirs  may be the countless little decisions made over the course of a lifetime that  silently advance the Kingdom without much pomp and circumstance. So, while we  equip our children to be extraordinary leaders, we should also be sure we  prepare them to live ordinary lives—lives lived in such a way that the  accumulation of a lifetime of choices may leave a lasting impact on the lives  of those around them or the next generation to follow them and lives that for  all practical purposes may be very simple and ordinary.

I think that sometimes it  is easy for us to become so focused on training our children to be  extraordinary men and women that we forget to let them know that God uses men  and women in all walks of life. They may live out their entire lives as  farmers, carpenters, servicemen, or in any countless number of ordinary  occupations, and they may never see great evidence of leaving an eternal  imprint in this world. So, equip them for the extraordinary, but prepare them  for the ordinary.

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