The night we visited this town, there was a violent storm that encompassed the whole village—water came up to the first floors, and electricity went out all over the village. Rumbling and crashing resounded all around us.

As we looked out fearfully toward the lake below, the lightning flashed again. In the momentary light, we observed that the rain and the lake seemed almost to join in the frenzied wind and storm blowing and swirling in all directions. Yet there was a dark form—the only thing in our eyesight that was not moving—standing placidly still in one of the fiercest storms I had ever witnessed. It was the small castle that had been built on the rock almost 800 years before.

The next morning we saw debris from the storm—floating pieces of wood, deck chairs, leaves cluttering the water. As we breakfasted in a small cafe, we asked about the small castle we had observed the night before. “It is the only house that has stayed through hundreds of years of such storms. It is a familiar icon to all of the families who have lived here for generations—a promise that life will go on in our small town, even amidst the mountain storms,” we were told.

What a picture this became to me, over the years, of what I wanted our family to portray: strength, soundness, stability—a fortress of all that is beautiful, good, and true in the midst of a culture filled with the storms of postmodernism, godlessness, idolatry, immorality, shallowness of commitment, vanity, and financially difficult seasons. We have pictured and prayed that our home would be an immovable fortress of truth and a haven of righteousness for all who come here.

However, many moms who are committed to doing the best with their children flounder in building a foundation. The distraction of school demands gets in the way of spiritual and life goals. I have seen my three older children, who have already ventured into life, met with many storms that challenged their faith, morality, beliefs, and values with onslaught after onslaught. By God’s grace and through prayer, so far they have been able to retain their faith and grow in their love for God and His ways; they are all standing in the midst of the cultural storms, forging their own messages and stands in their young adulthood. I think it is because of the foundations that they, like the little castle on the mountain, have as a secure base from which to withstand the storms.

The following are several foundations that I think must be established:

1. The Word of God in Psalm 119: 99-101 tells us of a secret that is available to any person who is diligent: “Thy commandments make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever mine. I have more insight than all my teachers, for Thy testimonies are my meditations. I understand more than the aged, because I have observed Thy precepts.”

We must love the Word of God ourselves and immerse ourselves in it. Children need a foundation of the Word. They need to memorize chapters and chapters of the Bible so that their hearts can have a resource from which to draw truth.

2. Foundations of Morality and Righteous Living must be established in order for our children to know how to find their way through the maze of lies promoted in our culture. Postmodernism is a contemporary way of thinking that deconstructs the traditional values and ways of living life. Goodness, beauty, and truth have not changed since the beginning of time. We must hold onto them—in our homes, in the media we allow ourselves to watch, and in the books we read—in order to form in our children these excellent appetites for life.

Children need first to know what moral law and goodness are before they can choose to live by them when they are young adults. The Ten Commandments, our base values—like we discuss in our 24 Family Ways: Family Devotional—provide guidance for a moral foundation. A child needs to have a secure sense of “what we in our family hold as sacred and will build our lives upon.”

3. Children need a solid foundation of Love and Healthy Relationships. In Matthew 6-8 Jesus profoundly devotes most of His words to our relationships with people and our relationship with Him above all else. He talks about being forgiving, not judging, not being angry or adulterous in our hearts, about being a peacemaker, being gentle and trusting, praying, and seeking. He said, “They will know you are My disciples by your love for one another.” I really have seen that, though my children have passed through many cultural storms, it is because of the great love and friendship we have cultivated with them–a foundation of deep love and intimacy—that they have come to have a deep regard for our opinions, our ideas, and our wisdom about life. In the same way that Jesus gave up His life for the disciples, we have sought to give up our own lives in service to our children. They are all old enough to see our flaws and to know our weaknesses, but they see my husband Clay and me as championing their lives, the ones who believe in them, and the ones who serve them and support them. Family is that culture through which God designed such strong ties to be forged, that these relationships would provide strength, comfort, and direction for all of life.

The post Foundations appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

One child rushed in to read me an article he wrote about his favorite hobby, “just ‘cause I wanted to!”

Another child yelled up, “Come look at my website design, Mom! It’s looking great! By the way, I just put a new Monet picture on your screen saver. You’ll love it!”

A third child (my oldest!) is napping. A fourth is enjoying a water slide that her older brother rigged up for her outside.

When I first began my journey of home schooling, I would have felt guilty about a day like today. Are my children learning? Am I neglecting them? Will I be able to catch up? Over the years, I have seen that God created the life and activity of a home to be the best place for children to learn and explore. I can relax, knowing that when these inevitable days come my way, it might be just what my kids need—time to explore, think, read, play, and be quiet. Sometimes I am amazed at what God has taught them—in spite of my own plans.

Over the years we have defined for ourselves ten basic distinctives for education in our own home. These have given us a base from which to build during the more-disciplined days and during the less-structured ones.

Children need a home and family.

God designed families to raise children. It is natural and normal for children to want to stay with their parents until they are grown. It is unnatural and abnormal to believe others should or must raise your children for you. Only the love and stability of a godly family can provide the solid center all children need and deserve to grow up wise and godly.

Children need to be discipled by their parents.

The first responsibility of Christian parents before God is to “make disciples” of their children. As a child’s heart is turned toward God and his feet are put on the path of life, his mind then begins to grow in godly wisdom. Discipleship is the process of bringing up children in the “training and instruction of the Lord” in order to bring them under God’s authority. Until your child’s heart is submitted to you and to God, you cannot effectively educate his mind.

Children need to be accepted as persons.

The child you disciple and educate is no less a whole person than a fully-grown adult. Everything that defines person-ness—intelligence, curiosity, creativity, reason, will—is present in your child. God’s image and likeness are complete in your child.

Children need purpose and hope.

Christian home education is the shaping of a life, not just the preparation for a living. Your child needs to see that home education is preparing him for a higher purpose in life, and that his real hope is heaven, not the riches of this world. He needs to know that his purpose in life is to serve God, not to make money and buy things.

Children need many relationships.

Life is a series of relationships, and we learn from all of them—family, God, siblings, spouse, friends, church, teachers, employers, employees, customers, and others. Exposure to many kinds of relationships prepares a child to better relate to and learn from others as an adult.

Children naturally love to learn.

Children do not have to be told to want to learn—they can be trusted to learn. The key to their learning, then, is to create an environment rich with whole books and real life that provides opportunities to exercise their natural desire for knowledge.

Children learn from real life.

Seeing and holding a garden snake discovered on a nature walk is infinitely more interesting and educational to a child than being told in a classroom what a garden snake is like. Children need much free time and real-life experience to grow.

Children learn from real books.

It is natural for a child to prefer a whole book. One of the keys to true education is to feed a child’s natural desire for knowledge with lots of good food, rather than stave it with bits of inferior, tasteless food. Whole and living books are deeply satisfying to children. When children are allowed to taste and sample a wide selection of whole books, their appetites will be trained, and they will want to come back for more.

Children learn from fine arts.

It is in the study of the fine arts that a child is introduced to the passion, power, and beauty of life expressed through the eyes of artists, musicians, and poets. The integration of intellect and emotion in the fine arts is a dim but true reflection of God’s creative nature that is part of His image in man.

Children learn from ideas.

A steady intake of lifeless facts and data will dull a child’s mind and senses. Children, like adults, think and feel deeply—they need to feed mentally on ideas and concepts that help them to understand and make sense of their world.

Of course there are many other aspects to home schooling that we integrate into our home. Yet when I focus the minutes of my days on priorities, when I fill my home and family life with resources, interesting people, meaningful activities, and live my own life before them with purpose, joy, and a gusto for life; then in my home, my children will get all they need to be prepared to live the lives for which God designed them.

Tonight, when I go to bed, I will lie down in peace. I will know that by being faithful to live my life to the fullest and trusting God for what tasks He has given me to do, I will have accomplished His will in my life and in the lives of my children.

The post Home-Centered Learning appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

Recently though, my friend, Kathy, and I decided that, even though our husbands needed to “hold down the forts” and work down the piles, we needed to take this trip before our children were gone from our homes. So, with our husbands’ blessings, we piled into her Chevy Suburban and took off on the trip-two moms, seven kids, three weeks, 4000 miles, ten states, and about a million memories.

Laughter and love filled our home school tour bus as we sailed the Interstates, packed and repacked the car, traded seats, listened to books on tape, followed the map, and “listened to one more historical lecture.” We saw places like Laura Ingalls Wilder’s home and museum in Missouri, Frank Lloyd Wright’s Dana House in Illinois, and the Ohio Aviation Museum. We visited Amish country, Valley Forge, Gettysburg, and historical downtown Philadelphia. We took in Lexington and Concord, the Minuteman Museum, downtown Boston, Paul Revere’s home, and many other places; but it was more than just a history tour. We forged warm friendships with wonderful people with whom we stayed along the way. As I spoke for seven different groups, we got to know home schooling families from all walks of life. We met children, moms and dads, cafe owners, doctors, airplane pilots, lobster fishermen, and many more. As we memorized scripture together on the road, we also thanked God for the sweet families who hosted us and prayed for their needs and for their children.

This was not just a trip; it was a whole life experience. Our minds were filled with ideas of historical freedom and heroic acts. Our bodies were nurtured with a wide variety of foods and many places to lay our weary heads. Our emotions were gratified by the warm friendships and love shared. Our creativity was stimulated by the music we heard, the designs of homes and towns we saw, and the writings we read of great men and women. Our spirits were encouraged by the prayer and scripture we shared together. Our sense of beauty was fed by the gorgeous spring flowers and trees that were blooming everywhere. All in all, it was an unforgettable life experience.

Do you know that not one person ever said to me, “Sally, aren’t you afraid you are going to fall behind on your curriculum assignments for the year?” Yet as we made our way across Mid-America and up to the Eastern Seaboard, nearly every mom we met seemed to be overly concerned with curricular goals and how to insure academic excellence in her children. “Which method of schooling do you most recommend?” I sometimes feel that we in the home schooling movement have cultivated the idea that home schooling is mainly, or even only, about filling up the mind. We seem to be leaving out of the picture the soul and spirit, emotions, and body. There is little sense of a whole life experience in most home schools I see today.

Admittedly, life in a normal home school is quite busy and burdensome, so it is easy to see how we can become unintentionally one-sided on the academics. Yet, one of the greatest advantages of home schooling is our opportunity to be creative, to pursue dreams, desires, and interests that are not possible to pursue in the public school. We can give individual attention to our children by using the freedom and flexibility we have to pursue any schedule and any method of education that is best for them. Yet, wherever I go throughout the U.S., I have observed that many moms are living as though their children are still chained to the constraints and methods of the public school.

The only way I have been able to get beyond this over the years is to make very specific plans for my children with their whole lives in mind. As I begin my year, I list several categories of goals for my children to be sure that in my weekly schedule I include experiences that will nurture them in all areas of their lives. I will share some of those life-nurturing plans with you.

Spiritual

1. What are the specific character areas on which I am going to concentrate with each individual child? (selfishness, laziness, lack of initiative, using words for harm, etc.)
2. What passages should we memorize?
3. What books or devotional helps are we going to include in our family times?

Ministry

1. To what ministry projects are we going to commit in the next 3-4 months?
2. (conferences, the homeless, missionaries, outreach in the neighborhood, etc.)
3. How are we going to give our money as a family in the next few months?
4. In what specific ways are we going to minister our staff and friends?
5. (Dinners or teas to host, cookies to bake, letters to write, retreats and overnights to plan)

Arts

1. What concerts or performances do we want to attend?
2. To what musicians or artists are we going to listen?
3. What theatre performances are going to be in town?

Activities

1. What lessons will each child take? (swimming, art, music, tennis, Irish dance, etc.)
2. What organizations should we join? (museum, zoo, Scottish society, etc.)
3. What trips will we take? (weekend trips, vacation, ministry, visiting family)
4. What interesting field trips should we take?

Traditions

1. What birthdays are coming up?
2. When should Clay and I schedule individual dinners, breakfasts, and tea times with the kids?
3. How can I surprise the kids with some fun to add interest in our home schooling day?

(hot chocolate with a morning fire, a hike and picnic, candlelight dinner on the porch, an interesting movie while all are piled into my king-sized bed) The planning list could go on and on. I usually try to keep the plans as simple and as realistic as possible. I try not to crowd too many activities together.

However, I find that if I do not plan for the extracurricular things, our lives become overwhelmed with the mundane tasks of home schooling. Variety definitely has added spice to our lives. It gives me a break from the rigors of our daily schedule. But most of all, by planning a whole life curriculum for my children, I have seen them come alive. They love to learn; they love life; they have been enriched by their many experiences, and in spite of all of my academic goals, they are becoming wholehearted children.

Now that we have tackled America, all of the kids are asking, “Well, Mom, how about England for three weeks?!!!”

Back to the planning board …

The post Planning on Purpose appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

Just like the hurricanes that threaten thousands of people on the eastern coast with devastation and disruption every year, the high school years of home school life can often seem like a dangerous storm looming on the educational horizon of life. They suddenly appear, ready to blow into our lives, forcing us to question whether or not we have done enough to prepare for them, or whether we should just drop out and head for shelter.

As an older, more tired, less idealistic parent, I was much more keenly aware of the myriad of educational details I had left uncovered as the high school storm approached our home. As Sarah enters her last year of formal schooling in our home, I still ask myself, “What have I left out? Will it be enough to get her into college? Have I prepared her for the challenge of college studies? How do I ever think I can keep going with three more children on her heels?”

Yet as I have pondered these questions before the Lord, I have become more convinced than ever that these are the best years of home schooling. In spite of the fears and insecurities that taunt me, I am going to stay put. This is the best season for home school for a variety of reasons that have become clearer to me over time.

As my children have turned the corner from childhood to adulthood, their capacities have suddenly multiplied–for working, for understanding, for being more responsible, for taking initiative, for developing their individual gifts. My older children, Sarah and Joel, have risen to each challenge as we have expanded their borders with real work experience. They answer phones, do secretarial work, organize and sell books at conferences, do computer data entry, and take care of many administrative tasks. They have gained experience serving and relating to a wide variety of people, even in stressful situations.

Educationally, they also have a much larger capacity for learning. It is always thrilling to watch each child blossom into a self-motivated reader who spends hours at a time with a broad and deep selection of thoughtful writers. At the same time, I watch as their character develops and as they become self-governing in areas of disciplined studies such as math.

To my great delight, they have become responsible citizens of my household–washing clothes, cooking, organizing the home, and being creative in their abilities to help with younger children. These duties, among other things, help to draw them away from the self-absorption that inflicts so many young adults. Learning to serve others now will make them better marriage partners, better parents, and better employees or employers.

Because they are at home during these responsible years, I have the time and opportunity to help my children develop in areas of strength at a critical time in their lives. Sarah is an excellent writer and finds great joy in communicating through the written word, so her senior-year project is to write a book and attempt to have it published. Whether she finds a publisher or we publish the book through our ministry, the practice of learning the publishing ropes while pursuing her interests under our encouraging direction will do more for her than any classroom time. Joel, Nathan, and Joy, in the same way, will each get to explore their own talents as we ask God for creativity in leading them.

Having my older children at home in their high school years has personal benefits too. Most mornings, Sarah and I meet the sunrise together on a two-mile hike. Through these hours and hours of personal time together, we are developing an even more cherished friendship, as we discuss every subject from European politics, to courtship versus dating, to the tediousness of having to play doggie with a four-year-old day after day!

Daily discussions over meals are as varied as the foods set on the table. Everyone at the table participates, because everyone is allowed to have an opinion. It is so exciting to see the lights of understanding turn on, a biblical worldview begin to form and take root, thoughts about ministry and life purpose find expression, and faith be sharpened and defined.

My personal tea times with the girls and the boys in our home give me hours of opportunity to share secrets, discuss emotions, and confront fears with each child. I cherish the opportunity to be the one who helps to influence their sense of morality and responsibility, shape their views of ministry and Christ, and affirm their wonderful personalities. In that atmosphere of relationship, I can also correct their flaws and teach them to live in the grace and freedom of Christ.

I cherish the treasured moments I had to spend with all my children this past summer. We painted, read fun books, had captivating talks, enjoyed our meals on the deck overlooking the city lights, and just lived each day. Those moments will pass all too quickly, especially as my older children approach adulthood. I want to use our time together to enjoy the journey and to enjoy them before they fly from my home to search out their own destinies.

One of my close friends put her kids into school for the first time. Her constant lament is, “I don’t have any time with my kids! They leave early in the morning, come home exhausted in the late afternoon, and work on homework in the few remaining hours left in the day. I have lost my personal relationship with them.”

One of the main reasons I started out on this journey of home schooling 12 years ago is that Clay and I wanted to be the ones who shaped our children’s personal and spiritual heritages. When asked, “Who was the greatest influence in your life?” we want them to say without hesitation, “My parents.” The seeds we have planted in their hearts and minds over the years are now maturing, and I want to enjoy watching the fully grown plant emerge. This is the best time for me to be by their sides, guiding them as they develop convictions that will last a lifetime, helping them to think clearly and deeply about what is most important in life. Even the promise of a perfect score on the SAT could not persuade me to give up even a minute of this time with them.

Regardless of the doubts and fears that taunt me from time to time, I am confident that I will have no regrets from keeping them at home with me during the high school years. An institutional classroom cannot provide the personal encouragement, affirmation, and individual training that only I can give them.

What I thought would be a terrible storm has almost passed. I am glad God enabled me to stop focusing on what might happen and to live the life He has given us. The Lord will indeed be our refuge and strength and will faithfully and strongly get us through.

The post Strength for the High School Years appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.