by Patrick L. Hurd

As our first child Lindsey approached school age, my wife Carrie and I wondered if there was an alternative to giving our daughter to the influences of perfect strangers. We were witnessing the products of the public school system and were not enthused by what we saw: educational mediocrity, less than desirable behavior habits, dangerous conditions at school, influences and ideas contrary to our convictions, and the transfer of loyalty to those outside the family. Home schooling seemed to be the answer to most of our concerns. In reality, it was just the beginning of challenges yet to come.

That schooling gets harder in the high school years is not the major problem home educators face. Home schooling in the high school years is hard, but can anything be more tedious and laborious than teaching your young child to read (yawn)? The real challenge facing all home-schooling families is the ongoing accumulation of convictions that are logical extensions of why we began homeschooling in the first place. Each new conviction demands a response either in the form of adjusting personal and family life according to the newly acquired conviction or simple refusal to adopt the new standard. In the former case, one can be assured that new convictions will be on their way. In the latter, one can be assured that previously held convictions would be in danger of compromise. In either case, one never holds his position for long; there is either progress or regress.

Anchoring to God’s Calling

The Christian parent understands his family as an extension of and the means toward accomplishing the Great Commission of our Lord: going, teaching, and baptizing. Our desire is for our children to go farther, teach better, and baptize more than we ourselves have been equipped to do. In other words, it is our vision to equip our children to advance the of farther and more effectively than any previous generation. Our desire is to equip our children to stand on our shoulders, thus enabling them to see farther and accomplish more than our generation did.

It should be obvious that such a vision has many more implications to a life and worldview than one that simply aims to grow them up, pay for college, and see them successfully marry and have a career. Accordingly, to persevere to the very end of rearing our children is to recognize the threats and dangers to God’s calling and to be equipped and willing to make the difficult choices for the sake of the next generation.

Educational Implications

The home-school movement was the first grassroots movement (and remains one of the few) to openly reject the lie of neutrality. Under the guise of separation of church and state, the public school system promotes a system of education that claims to be amoral but is, in fact, atheistic. Across the nation, Christian parents recognized the deception. If “the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord,” then any educational system that does not start and end with the triune, self-attesting, Christian God of the universe is a false education. It is an education that does not and cannot account for or portray reality.

To equip our children to advance the Kingdom of God farther than that which we ourselves are capable entails educating them differently than we were educated. Neither the public school system nor the charter school is going to accomplish this. The Christian private school may be an attractive alternative, but one must consider closely whether their method of teaching the disciplines begins with the fear of the Lord or simply tacks the fear of the Lord onto the curriculum. Home schooling is the better solution because the education is framed by the vision of the parents.

To better equip their children, parents must come to grips with the debilitating effect of their own public school education, be willing to jettison it, and do the work to embrace a thoroughly Christian world and life view. Although it is a tall order, I dare say that once parents embark on the road of revamping their worldview, even if ever so slightly, public education of any sort quickly becomes a non-option. Conversely, the parent who is convinced that he turned out OK in the public school system leaves the door open to retreat when the going gets tough.

Moral Implications

The best education and most meticulous, professional training can be quickly neutralized by bad character. Therefore parents should not only teach their children diligence, thoroughness, punctuality, courtesy, attentiveness, etc. but also proactively protect them from the lifelong consequences of emotional and physical baggage that can occur from just one unfortunate indiscretion.

One might think that the boy/girl, dating scene is the place where sexual indiscretions begin. I submit to you that the dating scene is where that which has been previously discussed between boy/boy and girl/girl at sleepovers, youth group meetings, and such is played out. You can be sure that if the kids are allowed to be in an environment that facilitates the learning (Christian romance novels, TV ads, billboard ads, grocery store check-out stands, Dad’s hidden pornography, etc.), they will take advantage of the opportunity to experiment with the knowledge.

Marital Implications

A vital ingredient to staying the course of the vision, especially through the hard times, is teamwork between the parents. Teamwork may include sharing some of the workload of schooling, but more importantly it is sharing one’s life with your life-mate on an ongoing, day in-day out basis. The really difficult times of raising a family and making the hard choices for our children are easier to manage when the husband and wife work together with the same vision and for the same goal. More and/or older children are difficult to manage when one or the other parent is emotionally and/or physically absent.

It is the husband’s job to keep the parenting team together and on track. His physical presence is not as critical as his emotional presence and support to his wife. His leadership is essential in steering the course of his family down the path of the vision. His uncompromising support of his wife, especially in the eyes of the children, is crucial to the success of his wife as mother and teacher. One can be assured that his wife and children will get their vision and convictions somewhere if not from the husband.

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The Christian parent has the distinct and high calling of equipping the next generation in advancing the rule and reign of King Jesus and defending the Christian faith against every false doctrine that attempts to exalt itself above our Lord. Home schooling is a vital part of fulfilling this calling, but it is only one leg of the adventure. Submitting to the conviction that education necessarily must be Christian only opens the door for a progression of new convictions. Call it “hav(ing) the mind of Christ,” “being transformed in your mind,” or sundry other similar biblical admonitions. It all boils down to the willingness to be sanctified with fire.

No one likes being molded and tested with fire. For the Christian, it is the hope of God’s hand seeing to the success of our calling that gives us the joy to go forward even when the circumstances beg us to quit. It is not easy for a husband to be sanctified by his wife and vice versa. Nor is it easy for parents to put restrictions on their children and teenagers when all the world and the rest of the Church promote every form of hedonism. The stakes are too high to resolve anything but to be faithful to the very end.

If I have seen further [than other men] it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.
- Sir Isaac Newton, February 1675

The post Staying the Course of Home Schooling appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

In the midst of this chaos, the family is suffering from an identity crisis. Who can say what the acceptable family norm will be tomorrow? Surely, the traditional family of husband-provider/wife-homemaker/loyal children with hearts at home is looked upon with scorn and disdain. While the average divorce rate is now 50% (in and out of the Church), most have bought into an economic system that makes it almost impossible for the wife not to work. The wife’s loyalty is split, the average number of children per household has diminished to 1.7, and each family member develops his separate interests and life schedule. No leadership. No vision. No expression of calling. No purpose. No connection from one generation to the next.

The breakdown of our social order, as exemplified by the breakdown of the family, can only be understood in terms of God’s hand of judgment against a society that has abandoned His ordained standards. Like Eve, we have made a covenant with the devil. Accordingly, God in His mercy is driving us from the garden.

It is the hope of rearing a generation that might make a significant difference in our nation that moves many of us to the crazy endeavors in which we find ourselves engaged, such as home schooling. While we may feel overwhelmingly hopeless in having any impact on the course of the national government and may feel overwhelmingly helpless with the course of the Church, many of us have determined that we can and will direct the course of our smaller society–our family.

Godly leadership of the family requires godly government, just as it does in the larger societies of church and state. Government is the way people organize themselves in order to fulfill a purpose. Accordingly, neither the purpose of man nor the standards by which he organizes can be left to the discretion of man if he is to accomplish his God-given calling.

The best model of familial leadership is the rule and reign of Jesus Christ over His Church. Just as Jesus is head over His Church, the husband is head over his family. Just as Jesus serves and loves the Church, the husband is to serve and love his family. From His example, we can find at least six characteristics of godly leadership.

Identity and Distinctiveness

First, He calls a people out of the mass of mankind to be a separate and peculiar people, holy and set apart for the glory of God. He does this by virtue of His covenant established with His Church. Our families should not only exhibit the characteristics of membership in the larger body of Christ but should also exhibit qualities that are peculiar and distinctive to each individual family.

Distinctive qualities are going to develop within the family as the members begin to pursue the callings and giftings of their Christian faith. For example, when I think of certain families, I automatically associate them with certain activities such as chess, music, team sports, or hospitality. Other distinctions may be less evident to outsiders as the family develops traditions connected with holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and travel.

The wise parent identifies and captures the distinctions and traditions of his family to build within his children a sense of identity that is uniquely theirs and centered around the family. That is not to say that every family member must share the same interests, but it is the challenge and duty of the parent to integrate the pursuits and likes of each member into the family as a whole.

Law and Order

Second, Jesus equips His Church with officers, laws, and reproofs establishing order and conduct. In the family, the husband serves as the head of his wife and, therefore, of the family. The husband is commanded to love his wife, the wife is commanded to respect her husband, and the children are commanded to honor both father and mother. Thus a hierarchical structure is established as well as the underlying law that governs the life of the family.

As an officer of the family, the husband is responsible for establishing, applying, and enforcing God’s law, as objectively set forth in scripture. For some of us, such a statement sends chills of legalism up our spiritual spines. There has been so much emphasis placed on the God of grace at the expense of the God of law that one would think the two are exclusive and contradictory. The fact is that every family has some sort of standard of behavior established, even if the accepted standard is no standard at all. The only question is whose standard is in force. The only acceptable standard is God’s.

Good government is designed to promote order. An environment of order and discipline is necessary for successful home schooling. Accordingly, godly parents will establish laws of the home that are objective and proactive, producing the results desired by the parents.

Blessings and Curses

Third, Jesus rewards the obedience of His people and corrects them for their sins. Within the family is the first place that a person learns that there are consequences associated with obedience and disobedience. It is important for children to learn at an early age to associate future consequences with today’s actions.

Almost without exception, young children possess the desire to please their parents and will conform to the standards of the family in the attempt to gain approval. The proactive parent will openly reward his children for their obedience to the established family standards.

A significant fact in the way in which Jesus leads His Church is that disobedience does not bring punishment alone. Rather, the bad behavior is corrected, and change is brought forth. In theological circles this work of the Holy Spirit is called sanctification. In family circles we do not just punish; we correct, instruct, and model proper behavior.

Maintain and Sustain

Fourth, Jesus maintains and sustains His people in their temptations. It is unfortunate that families see the desire to please and the willingness to conform wane in their children at an increasingly younger age. Pressures to go one’s own way, to disobey the rules, etc., will come against the family members from many avenues.

In the best interest of the children, it is the parent’s duty to closely guard and nurture their hearts. Alert parents will recognize signs of pressure on their children to conform to another standard. Pressures most often come from age peers who introduce them to ideas of dress, music, attitudes, and behavior with which the child would not have been confronted in the home.

When behavior is exhibited that does not conform to the family standard (e.g., rolling eyes in disrespect, failure to acknowledge verbally when given instructions, disrespectful words to a sibling or parent), the parent determined to preserve his child will quickly and openly confront the issue and assist his child to the right standard. Often bad behavioral patterns have already been established before the parents notice. Those cases demand diligent perseverance with the child as both parent and child work through the hard lessons of life. It is at these times that we pray and depend on the Holy Spirit to bring to fruition the years of biblical instruction sown into the child’s life at an early age.

Serve and Protect

Fifth, Jesus restrains and overcomes all His people’s enemies. The best service a parent can give to his children is to proactively restrain them from their natural tendency toward foolish behavior. Foolishness is the number one enemy of our children. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of every child, and the godly parent will be determined to drive it far from his child.

As if it is not enough that there are dangers from within our children’s hearts, the multitude of enemies without–all striving for the life and allegiance of our children–can be overwhelming. These enemies are apt to reside where we might least expect them: the Christian novels we let our girls read, the earphones of the walkman to which we let our boys listen without supervision, the home school support group youth program, etc.

It is not that we can or should insulate and isolate our children from every potential danger of the world or to presume that there is a demon lurking behind every tree. However, it is crucial for parents to realize and acknowledge that we are in a struggle – purity vs. evil – for the very hearts of our children. As we are godly leaders of our households, our families depend on us to proactively recognize the dangers that entice our families toward ruin and to respond to the enemy accordingly. Godly parents cannot ignore, abdicate, or deny their responsibility to protect their children. The stakes – the hearts of our children – are too high to do otherwise.

Planning and Vision

Finally, Jesus orders all things for the good of His own. This may be a little difficult for a mortal man who is not omniscient or omnipotent as is our Lord; however, it is the duty of the parents, with as much grace as the Lord provides them, to direct the interests and activities of their children with some sort of goal or vision for the future.

We know of a family who, when their children were young, were very concerned to see how easily young people switched their allegiance from parents and family to outside peers. At that point, our friends determined that it would be different with their family. They determined a strategy – keep the kids so busy they will not have the time or desire for things away from the family. Their means were predominantly, though not exclusively, sports. The key difference for this family, I believe, is that whatever activity was planned for the day, it was done as a family. If it was softball, everybody played softball. If golf, almost everyone was on the course. If chess, the whole family was involved in the chess club. Their success in maintaining the hearts of their children into and through the teenage years should cause us to give their strategy serious consideration.

Too much of the Church has accepted the humanistic idea of a laissez-faire, nonintervention approach with our children: let them drift mindlessly along, and they will eventually stumble across something that piques their interest. When that happens, we should then jump in there and encourage them. The Bible assures us that a people without knowledge–a vision, a word from God–will perish. Praise God that is neither how Jesus rules His Church nor should it be the way parents rule their families.

Families who have chosen home schooling have already chosen a radically different path of child rearing. However, for those who homeschool out of conviction, it is only the beginning. The same convictions that led us to look to home schooling also challenge us to look at other facets of our families and the way in which we respond to the world around us. They are convictions that cause us to be concerned, to persevere, and to hope. Whatever else they may do, they call us to be vigilant to represent Him in the care and training of His children.

The post Foundations for Home School Families appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

In the midst of this chaos, the family is suffering from an identity crisis. Who can say what the acceptable family norm will be tomorrow? Surely, the traditional family of husband-provider/wife-homemaker/loyal children with hearts at home is looked upon with scorn and disdain. While the average divorce rate is now 50% (in and out of the Church), most have bought into an economic system that makes it almost impossible for the wife not to work. The wife’s loyalty is split, the average number of children per household has diminished to 1.7, and each family member develops his separate interests and life schedule. No leadership. No vision. No expression of calling. No purpose. No connection from one generation to the next.

The breakdown of our social order, as exemplified by the breakdown of the family, can only be understood in terms of God’s hand of judgment against a society that has abandoned His ordained standards. Like Eve, we have made a covenant with the devil. Accordingly, God in His mercy is driving us from the garden.

It is the hope of rearing a generation that might make a significant difference in our nation that moves many of us to the crazy endeavors in which we find ourselves engaged, such as home schooling. While we may feel overwhelmingly hopeless in having any impact on the course of the national government and may feel overwhelmingly helpless with the course of the Church, many of us have determined that we can and will direct the course of our smaller society–our family.

Godly leadership of the family requires godly government, just as it does in the larger societies of church and state. Government is the way people organize themselves in order to fulfill a purpose. Accordingly, neither the purpose of man nor the standards by which he organizes can be left to the discretion of man if he is to accomplish his God-given calling.

The best model of familial leadership is the rule and reign of Jesus Christ over His Church. Just as Jesus is head over His Church, the husband is head over his family. Just as Jesus serves and loves the Church, the husband is to serve and love his family. From His example, we can find at least six characteristics of godly leadership.

Identity and Distinctiveness

First, He calls a people out of the mass of mankind to be a separate and peculiar people, holy and set apart for the glory of God. He does this by virtue of His covenant established with His Church. Our families should not only exhibit the characteristics of membership in the larger body of Christ but should also exhibit qualities that are peculiar and distinctive to each individual family.

Distinctive qualities are going to develop within the family as the members begin to pursue the callings and giftings of their Christian faith. For example, when I think of certain families, I automatically associate them with certain activities such as chess, music, team sports, or hospitality. Other distinctions may be less evident to outsiders as the family develops traditions connected with holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and travel.

The wise parent identifies and captures the distinctions and traditions of his family to build within his children a sense of identity that is uniquely theirs and centered around the family. That is not to say that every family member must share the same interests, but it is the challenge and duty of the parent to integrate the pursuits and likes of each member into the family as a whole.

Law and Order

Second, Jesus equips His Church with officers, laws, and reproofs establishing order and conduct. In the family, the husband serves as the head of his wife and, therefore, of the family. The husband is commanded to love his wife, the wife is commanded to respect her husband, and the children are commanded to honor both father and mother. Thus a hierarchical structure is established as well as the underlying law that governs the life of the family.

As an officer of the family, the husband is responsible for establishing, applying, and enforcing God’s law, as objectively set forth in scripture. For some of us, such a statement sends chills of legalism up our spiritual spines. There has been so much emphasis placed on the God of grace at the expense of the God of law that one would think the two are exclusive and contradictory. The fact is that every family has some sort of standard of behavior established, even if the accepted standard is no standard at all. The only question is whose standard is in force. The only acceptable standard is God’s.

Good government is designed to promote order. An environment of order and discipline is necessary for successful home schooling. Accordingly, godly parents will establish laws of the home that are objective and proactive, producing the results desired by the parents.

Blessings and Curses

Third, Jesus rewards the obedience of His people and corrects them for their sins. Within the family is the first place that a person learns that there are consequences associated with obedience and disobedience. It is important for children to learn at an early age to associate future consequences with today’s actions.

Almost without exception, young children possess the desire to please their parents and will conform to the standards of the family in the attempt to gain approval. The proactive parent will openly reward his children for their obedience to the established family standards.

A significant fact in the way in which Jesus leads His Church is that disobedience does not bring punishment alone. Rather, the bad behavior is corrected, and change is brought forth. In theological circles this work of the Holy Spirit is called sanctification. In family circles we do not just punish; we correct, instruct, and model proper behavior.

Maintain and Sustain

Fourth, Jesus maintains and sustains His people in their temptations. It is unfortunate that families see the desire to please and the willingness to conform wane in their children at an increasingly younger age. Pressures to go one’s own way, to disobey the rules, etc., will come against the family members from many avenues.

In the best interest of the children, it is the parent’s duty to closely guard and nurture their hearts. Alert parents will recognize signs of pressure on their children to conform to another standard. Pressures most often come from age peers who introduce them to ideas of dress, music, attitudes, and behavior with which the child would not have been confronted in the home.

When behavior is exhibited that does not conform to the family standard (e.g., rolling eyes in disrespect, failure to acknowledge verbally when given instructions, disrespectful words to a sibling or parent), the parent determined to preserve his child will quickly and openly confront the issue and assist his child to the right standard. Often bad behavioral patterns have already been established before the parents notice. Those cases demand diligent perseverance with the child as both parent and child work through the hard lessons of life. It is at these times that we pray and depend on the Holy Spirit to bring to fruition the years of biblical instruction sown into the child’s life at an early age.

Serve and Protect

Fifth, Jesus restrains and overcomes all His people’s enemies. The best service a parent can give to his children is to proactively restrain them from their natural tendency toward foolish behavior. Foolishness is the number one enemy of our children. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of every child, and the godly parent will be determined to drive it far from his child.

As if it is not enough that there are dangers from within our children’s hearts, the multitude of enemies without–all striving for the life and allegiance of our children–can be overwhelming. These enemies are apt to reside where we might least expect them: the Christian novels we let our girls read, the earphones of the walkman to which we let our boys listen without supervision, the home school support group youth program, etc.

It is not that we can or should insulate and isolate our children from every potential danger of the world or to presume that there is a demon lurking behind every tree. However, it is crucial for parents to realize and acknowledge that we are in a struggle – purity vs. evil – for the very hearts of our children. As we are godly leaders of our households, our families depend on us to proactively recognize the dangers that entice our families toward ruin and to respond to the enemy accordingly. Godly parents cannot ignore, abdicate, or deny their responsibility to protect their children. The stakes – the hearts of our children – are too high to do otherwise.

Planning and Vision

Finally, Jesus orders all things for the good of His own. This may be a little difficult for a mortal man who is not omniscient or omnipotent as is our Lord; however, it is the duty of the parents, with as much grace as the Lord provides them, to direct the interests and activities of their children with some sort of goal or vision for the future.

We know of a family who, when their children were young, were very concerned to see how easily young people switched their allegiance from parents and family to outside peers. At that point, our friends determined that it would be different with their family. They determined a strategy – keep the kids so busy they will not have the time or desire for things away from the family. Their means were predominantly, though not exclusively, sports. The key difference for this family, I believe, is that whatever activity was planned for the day, it was done as a family. If it was softball, everybody played softball. If golf, almost everyone was on the course. If chess, the whole family was involved in the chess club. Their success in maintaining the hearts of their children into and through the teenage years should cause us to give their strategy serious consideration.

Too much of the Church has accepted the humanistic idea of a laissez-faire, nonintervention approach with our children: let them drift mindlessly along, and they will eventually stumble across something that piques their interest. When that happens, we should then jump in there and encourage them. The Bible assures us that a people without knowledge–a vision, a word from God–will perish. Praise God that is neither how Jesus rules His Church nor should it be the way parents rule their families.

Families who have chosen home schooling have already chosen a radically different path of child rearing. However, for those who homeschool out of conviction, it is only the beginning. The same convictions that led us to look to home schooling also challenge us to look at other facets of our families and the way in which we respond to the world around us. They are convictions that cause us to be concerned, to persevere, and to hope. Whatever else they may do, they call us to be vigilant to represent Him in the care and training of His children.

The post Foundations for Homeschooling Families appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.