“And let us not grow weary . . .” This can be a daily struggle for home schooling parents, who must face challenges on many fronts. Our children resist schoolwork, and some have learning difficulties that make the work more challenging. Our extended family does not understand our desire to educate our children at home. We face the financial strain that comes as a result of making one parent the primary teacher, while the other parent is responsible for providing for the family. We are out of money, out of time, and out of patience. We grow weary.

“. . . while doing good . . .” Home schooling is an amazing opportunity to disciple our children on a daily basis. The one-on-one, tutorial method allows us to help our children achieve their full potential academically, and that is a wonderful thing. Yet, let us never lose sight of the most important aspect of this lifestyle, the ability to guide our children spiritually. Proverbs 22:6, a beloved passage of home schoolers, tells us to “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” The following excerpt from Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible examines Proverbs 22:6 and is a beautiful illustration of “doing good” spoken of in the Galatians verse:

The Hebrew of this clause is curious: “Initiate the child at the opening (the mouth) of his path.” When he comes to the opening of the way of life, being able to walk alone, and to choose; stop at this entrance, and begin a series of instructions, how he is to conduct himself in every step he takes. Show him the duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before him. Fix these on his mind by daily inculcation, till their impression is become indelible; then lead him to practice by slow and almost imperceptible degrees, till each indelible impression becomes a strongly radicated habit. Beg incessantly the blessing of God on all this teaching and discipline; and then you have obeyed the injunction of the wisest of men. Nor is there any likelihood that such impressions shall ever be effaced, or that such habits shall ever be destroyed.

It is so easy to grow weary as we face the many chores and responsibilities that come with home schooling. We need to remember that the daily mentoring expressed in Clarke’s Commentary is the most important responsibility we have. This is the “doing good” of which we should not grow weary.

“. . . for in due season we shall reap . . .” What a precious promise! God tells us that if we will continue doing good, continue mentoring, continue pouring into our children, we will reap a harvest. Do not miss these important words: in due season. For the mother who thinks she will have to discipline a strong-willed child until he is 37, for the father whose heart is broken because he cannot break through his teenager’s wall, for the parents who wonder if all their efforts are in vain . . . there is a season of harvest. Yet harvest has its own season, and it cannot be rushed. What farmer harvests his crops a month before they are ready? Perhaps the thing that most causes us to “grow weary while doing good” is the fact that we feel the need to reap a daily harvest. Instead, the strong-willed child shows his defiant nature yet again. The teenager pushes away our advances and tests our authority. In our weariness, we are tempted to give up.

“. . . if we do not lose heart.” In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul encourages the church in Corinth to stand true to the ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ, even though they are hard pressed on every side, persecuted, and struck down. Is not that the way we sometimes feel in our home school journey? May we take Paul’s encouragement for ourselves:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

We will continue to face difficulties as we teach our children at home. Children will continue to resist schoolwork, learning difficulties will continue to present challenges, and our finances will continue to be strained. But these are temporary afflictions. Let us not forget that the seeds of goodness we are planting in our children will reap an eternal harvest—in due season.

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Did you know that many colleges and universities actively recruit home school graduates? There are several reasons for this phenomenon. Home schooled students consistently score higher on the SAT. Home schooled students also exhibit stronger time management and independent-study skills. In my own home, I work toward building these skills from a very early age. I begin giving personal assignment sheets in kindergarten. Of course, my kindergartener cannot usually read the assignment sheet, but she can follow my finger as I point to each day’s assigned work and read it to her. As a first grader, she can usually tell me which pages to do in math or reading. By the time she is in the third or fourth grade, she is expected to retrieve her assignment sheet and do the subjects she is allowed to do without my help. As a seventh grader, she will do about sixty percent of her work on her own, building to a full ninety percent by the time she graduates. Additionally, my high school student may well have a part-time job or attend dual credit classes at a local community college.

Raising independent learners is one of the great advantages of home schooling. Academically, we are preparing our students to succeed at higher education. Our home schooled graduates are also prepared socially to succeed within society. We laugh at the “S” question because we know that true socialization means interacting with people of all ages, making the classroom situation the more artificial model.

Today, however, I want to challenge parents to consider an area of weakness within our home schooling community. While we are building independence in some areas, I believe we are actually impeding independence in others. In striving to shelter our children from the negative influence of our culture, we have woven a cocoon that is oftentimes too tight. We do not allow our young adults to think for themselves or to learn from experience. We delight in their high test scores and academic achievement, but we continue to rule with iron fists in the home. The very sad consequence of this behavior is that we are witnessing a generation of home schooled graduates who are walking away from their family and often, tragically, from their biblical upbringing. I think there are two core issues that have led to this situation.

First, I believe we are choosing discipline over discipling. Can substituting a “g” for an “e” really make that much difference? It makes a world of difference! It is easy enough to extract a desired behavior from even the most strong-willed child if we discipline him. However, the only means to truly reach their hearts and achieve lifelong behaviors that honor God is to disciple them. And discipling means we must enter their world. Rather than demanding that our children enter our world (discipline), we must be willing to walk beside them in their world, gently giving instruction and helping them to make good choices. This requires, first of all, that we let them make choices!

Take a moment to look at the classical model of education, which teaches the trivium, or three stages of mental development. In the grammar stage (from birth to about age eleven), our children are sponges. They absorb and accumulate facts–phonics rules, math facts, geography facts–and the main thing we require of them is proof that they have memorized those facts. The dialectic, or logic, stage (eleven to fourteen years of age) is the time during which students begin to think and reason logically, to observe cause and effect, and to understand the way different fields of study fit together. Finally, they reach the rhetoric stage (ages fourteen to sixteen), when they can apply the rules of logic to their foundational knowledge, to express in clear, understandable terms what they have learned.

Applying an understanding of the stages of mental development to our child’s emotional and spiritual development will help us to disciple our children, rather than just discipline them. In the grammar stage, we establish the rules of our home—the rules of God’s kingdom—and we pour God’s Word into our children. Psalm 119:11 says, “Thy word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee.” It is during the grammar stage—the memorization stage—that we hide God’s Word in our children’s hearts.

Then the logic stage arrives—or the illogic stage, as some of us might see it. We do not understand why our children begin to push the envelope, challenging our rules and sometimes even our beliefs! We are horrified, and we respond by tightening our disciplinary grip, believing that the answer is to make the cocoon of our beliefs tighter and tighter. We think we are protecting our children, but in fact, we are often suffocating them. How will our children ever reach the rhetoric stage spiritually if we do not allow them to come to their own personal understanding of God’s grace? How will they ever reach that stage if we do not allow them to think for themselves? By no means am I advocating absolute freedom for our middle schoolers–we should closely monitor friendships, activities, and exposure to media. However, teaching our worldview with a “because I said so” attitude gives our middle schoolers nothing solid upon which to stand. We must be willing to sit beside them as they puzzle through things, not demanding a certain answer but praying and waiting in hopeful anticipation for them to reach a solid conclusion. When our child delivers a statement that begins, “I’m not sure I believe … ” rather than reacting with “Of COURSE you do!” we must be willing to say, “Hmmm … Why is that? What thoughts have brought you to that conclusion?” Be thankful that your child is including you in the thought process! Overly-disciplined children will not include you. They will know in their hearts that there is no place for dissension, and they will hide it from you.

The second core issue that I believe is leading to rebellion is simply that we do not trust the process. We do not know when to let go. If we spend the grammar years hiding God’s Word in our children’s hearts, then we must learn to trust that He will bring it to their hearts and minds in relevant moments. Again, I am not suggesting we drop our thirteen-year-old off at the mall to spend the day roaming around, but we must begin to lengthen the tether long before our child reaches adulthood. We must trust that everything we have done to disciple our child will withstand the test. We must build a relationship with our child that will encourage him to bring his experiences to us so that we can help with the examining and processing that occurs during the logic stage.

Have you done a science experiment with your thirteen-year-old? Have you had the delight of watching the light of discovery go on as he develops a hypothesis and then sees that the results substantiate that hypothesis? How much greater will be the delight when you watch your sixteen-year-old grapple with relationships, societal pressures, and faith, and see that his conclusions line up with what you have taught him. Rather than simply proving that he has memorized your beliefs (grammar stage), he has actually tested your beliefs (logic stage) and can express what he believes and why he believes it (rhetoric stage).

Home schooling veterans laugh about the socialization question—no, our children are not pale, little creatures who never venture out into the sunshine but rather stay indoors, hidden from the world. My challenge to you, and to myself (a sinner, of whom I am chief, as Paul says), is to examine whether we might not be doing that very thing in the emotional and spiritual development of our children. As we raise them to be independent learners, we must also raise them to be independent thinkers, independent believers.

My kindergartener has an assignment sheet, but I am right there to show her what it means. By the fourth grade, she will have some subjects that she is allowed to do by herself. As a seventh grader, she will do 60% of her work on her own, and by high school she will do 90% of her work independent of me. I will be there to check her work, to answer questions or help with challenges, and to discuss what she is learning. She may spend some of her day taking community college classes, or working or volunteering part time. Our time together will be spent sharing about what she is learning in the “bigger world.”

My kindergartener has rules, and much of our time is spent learning those rules. By the fourth grade, she will begin applying those rules of behavior as she spends time with friends at church, at the park, or down the street at the neighbor’s house. As a seventh grader, she will be away from me for extended periods of time, and those rules will sustain her and guide her. And in high school, my young adult will encounter greater peer pressure and will have her (our) beliefs and values challenged from many directions. Only by owning those beliefs will she be able to stand against the tide of culture. Only by discipling her heart will I have any hope that she will choose my beliefs over the seductive, “feel good” beliefs of the world. She will never choose iron fists over that. But she might choose my heart, if it is a place she can trust.

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It is important, however, to understand just what activities will be most beneficial in building that solid foundation. The plethora of materials available can be overwhelming to the parent of a very young child. Desiring to cover everything, we invest in a preschool curriculum that requires several hours a day of seatwork, including phonics lessons, math lessons, and endless handwriting practice.

In fact, this type of work is better left to later years for several reasons, not the least of which is avoiding burnout in your student. Beginning schoolwork with a four-year-old means his education at home will last approximately fourteen years. By teaching our children at home, we can view the “big picture” of their education and develop a timeline that is individualized to that student, whereas the government school system has no choice but to teach to the group as a whole. Out of logistical necessity, the classroom setting utilizes more bookwork than is truly necessary or, again, beneficial.

Rather than strapping our preschoolers to a stack of workbooks, we should devote our time with them to building readiness skills. The best use of our time would be to focus on activities that encourage the neurological development that will allow our children to perform well, as we slowly move toward a more structured approach to education. There will be a time for reading, handwriting, algebra, and book reports. The time we invest in the early years will provide our children the skills they need to succeed academically. Three key areas of readiness are motor development, visual discrimination, and auditory discrimination.

MOTOR DEVELOPMENT

Motor development includes gross motor skills (large muscles) and fine motor skills (smaller muscles). Because motor development follows a natural pattern of larger muscles developing before smaller ones, it is important to work on those gross motor skills first. In other words, using the pincer grip (fine motor skill) to hold a pencil should come after time has been spent on large arm movements. Rather than requiring your preschooler to write his letters on handwriting paper for twenty minutes, give him a paint brush and a bucket of water and have him “paint” his letters in very large strokes on the side of the house. Other activities for building gross motor skills include hopping on one foot, skipping, jumping rope, throwing a ball, walking on a predetermined line, and walking up and down steps without holding onto the railing. When proceeding to fine motor skills, activities would include stringing beads, lacing, cutting with scissors, buttoning, picking up small objects and, yes, holding a pencil or crayon.

VISUAL DISCRIMINATION

Visual discrimination is the ability to recognize similarities and differences between visual images. This skill is essential to both reading and writing. Additionally, sorting, patterning, and sequencing (all skills that require visual discrimination) are the foundational blocks of mathematics. Activities that build visual discrimination skills include matching colors and shapes, matching by size, sorting silverware, spotting the differences in two objects or pictures, and matching letters and numbers that are the same. Visual memory games are also very helpful in building this skill. For example, show a child a picture and discuss it in detail. Then cover the picture and ask the child to recall as many details as possible. Show a tray of four or five objects; then, remove one and have the child identify the missing item. Memory matching games are an inexpensive addition to your school material and will do much more for your child’s development than a workbook page.

AUDITORY DISCRIMINATION

Auditory discrimination is the ability to distinguish between different sounds. The ability to distinguish between the sounds of two letters, for example, is the backbone of phonics. Work with young children to build auditory skills by engaging in some of these activities: sound two notes and ask if they are the same or different, say pairs of words and ask if they sound the same, read poetry and play rhyming games, clap out a pattern and have the child repeat the pattern, have your child identify sounds with his eyes closed, or take a nature walk and have your child identify sounds. Building strength in this area will help not only with language skills but also with your child’s overall listening skills.

The preschool years are the years during which readiness skills are developed. If we have to build readiness skills, then the implication is that our child is not ready. We will do more harm than good by pushing our child in the area of academics. Save the workbooks for later and spend time playing with games and puzzles and exploring the world.

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The funny thing about family portraits is that there are so many things you do not see. For example, we all appear to be dressed in our Sunday finest—but three of us are wearing blue jeans, one of us in ragged jeans with strands of denim dragging the floor. (I will not say which one.) And as we were getting dressed that morning, we encountered the usual nightmare of finding socks for three little boys. In frustration I finally exclaimed, “You know what? It doesn’t matter if they match—they won’t show in the picture. Just find socks!”

As we climbed into the van, I noticed that one of my younger sons was wearing his mud-caked play shoes. When my husband saw the look on my face, he reminded me, “They won’t show in the picture.”

When our portraits were ready, we were all delighted with the results. As I looked over our Picture-Perfect Family, though, I could not help but smile as I thought of those hidden elements. It struck me that our family portrait can be likened to our family in general; in fact, it can be likened to every family. When we look at another family, we see the best face that they have put forward, but there are always hidden elements that we do not see. If we make the mistake of judging our own family on the basis of what we see in another family, then we are likely to become discouraged or disheartened with our own efforts.

As a leader in the home schooling community, I am often approached by home schooling parents who see my family as a Picture-Perfect Home Schooling Family. They think my children are cute and smart, clever and well behaved. They see my husband’s involvement and support of our home schooling lifestyle as something to be envied. And guess what? My children are cute and smart, clever and … well … for the most part, well behaved. I am very grateful for my husband’s involvement and support. However, just like when you look at our family portrait, there are things that you do not see when you look at my family. You do not see siblings who delight in provoking younger siblings until they shriek. You do not see children who get frustrated with schoolwork and slam their books closed or burst into tears. You do not see a marriage sometimes strained by financial pressures or the demanding schedule of book-fair season. And—thank goodness!—you do not see my house after a hectic school week.

It is inevitable that we all will look to other families to see if we are “doing it right.” We can often learn valuable lessons by observing families we admire. I have learned new chore routines from families with cleaner homes. I have learned new disciplinary techniques from families with well-behaved children. But it would be a grave mistake to judge your family on the basis of what you observe in another family, because you are never seeing the full picture—no matter how Picture-Perfect that family appears.

When I look back at my family portrait, let me forget for a moment the things you cannot see and concentrate on what you can see. Do we look like a family of people who love one another? Well, that is real. Do we look like we might support and encourage one another? Yes, that is us. In fact, the photographer was so taken by our family that she commented several times on our behavior. “Are they always this nice to each other?” “Do they always treat each other like that?” Well, no, they do not—but when it counts, they are each other’s greatest champions.

As each pose was captured, and we turned to look at the computer screen, we heard the following remarks: “Laura, that is such a great smile!”

“Nathan, you are just adorable!”

“Oh, look at Bekah!”

When the shot was ruined by someone closing their eyes, it was, “It is okay, Dave!” When the photographer tried to place us in those less-than-natural positions to achieve the desired effect, no one pushed or shoved or complained. They did giggle and tease a little, but it was all in good fun. The photographer could not believe the way my twenty-year-old son gently held and encouraged my two-year-old daughter, and she almost died when he picked up his fourteen-year-old sister and spun her around playfully. Those smiles on our faces? Those are genuine. We actually had a blast!

When you look at my family—when you look at any home schooling family—please look at the real picture. We are all normal, struggling families with problems and mud-caked play shoes that you cannot see. However, we are families doing our best to love, support, and encourage one another. Please do not base your decision to homeschool on what you think a Picture-Perfect Home Schooling Family should be. Do not shy away from home schooling because your family does not look like mine. Do not give up on home schooling because your family has not achieved perfection. The Picture-Perfect Home Schooling Family does not exist. We are all just a bunch of people in ragged jeans and mud-caked shoes, trying to hold it together. We can be thankful for one very important truth: God sees everything that is in the picture and everything that is hidden. He looks to see what is in the heart of your family, and if He sees Himself, then the picture is perfect.

The post The Picture-Perfect Family appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

One of the most prevalent reasons for homeschooling is for academic success. There is just no disputing the fact that the one-on-one tutorial method is a superior means of education. In addition, as home schooling parents, we can develop an educational plan that is personalized to our students’ learning styles and interests. I can say that I homeschool because I want my children to perform above others their age, but what happens when my child struggles academically despite all of my best efforts? What if, instead of becoming a National Merit Scholar, this particular child works twice as hard as others just to achieve a passing grade? Can I continue to embrace a lifestyle that does not bring the results I anticipated?

Many of us would say that our main reason for homeschooling is to raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We choose this lifestyle so that we can impart to our children our own Christian worldview. We believe that our choice will produce children who stand strong in the Lord, not tempted by the ways of society and modern culture. But what happens if my child turns his back on my beliefs? I know many home schooling families who are grieving deeply, because a child who was raised in a strong Christian home schooling environment has rejected his upbringing and now walks in darkness. Can I continue to embrace a lifestyle that does not produce the type of child I envisioned?

In the sixteen years since I began homeschooling, I have seen more and more people choose this method of education out of fear for their children’s safety in public or even private school. I have spoken to many parents whose children were beaten or threatened at knife point. It is certainly true that keeping my children at home increases the safety level, but is their safety guaranteed? What happens if my child is threatened on the playground or has a knife pulled on him in the parking lot of the grocery store? Can I continue to embrace a lifestyle that does not guarantee my child’s safety?

When my oldest son was about sixteen, we would joke that he had absolutely no idea what brand of jeans he was supposed to be wearing. Peer influence is an enormous thing, and many of the problems caused by it are not laughing matters. Many of us homeschool to avoid the issue of peer pressure. I felt that my son would never have to “just say no” to drugs if I never allowed him to be in a position where he had to make that choice. But is that realistic? What happens if one of his friends at home school co-op offers him drugs? Unless I intend to build a little community where my children never come into contact with outsiders, can I really protect them from the influence of their peers? Even if I strive to choose the best activities for positive social interaction, do I really know that every other family involved shares our exact values? What happens if my child makes bad choices because of the influence of friends or culture? Can I continue to embrace a lifestyle that does not insulate my child from negative influences?

In the end, there is only one real reason that I homeschool. It is a matter of obedience to God. When my son was eighteen months old, it was the Lord who nudged me with the idea of home schooling; it was the Lord who brought information my way to help me get started; and it was the Lord who picked me up and brushed me off each time I stumbled.

When my child struggles academically, the Lord shows me that He has a plan for each child and that plan may or may not involve academic excellence. When I stop looking for high grades and start looking at my children through God’s eyes, I see that some of my children enjoy learning just for the sake of learning, have consistently good grades, and will probably pursue higher education. However, I also see that the children who have to work a little harder at the bookwork are gifted by God in other areas. They are gifted in art, music, and drama. If I homeschool for academic success instead of out of obedience to God, I might fail those children who are not strong scholars. Through obedience to God, I can help each child perform to the best of his ability, and I can help each child to find his place in the world.

If I homeschool for religious reasons, I will be discouraged—even devastated—if a child turns his back on my beliefs. But when I am walking in obedience to God, then He can remind me that I am not the Holy Spirit. I am just an important tool in God’s hands when it comes to the spiritual upbringing of my child, but it is God who convicts, who draws each child to Himself. Nothing I do by way of discipleship offers an absolute guarantee that my children will walk with the Lord, because free will has existed since the foundation of this world. It is true that this lifestyle choice offers a stronger environment for spiritual instruction, but ultimately, the choice is my child’s. When I am walking in obedience to God, I remember that my job is to plant seeds and water them. God will take care of the rest.

I may try to protect my children from harm, but home schooling is not a security system. There is no guarantee that my home will not be invaded and my family harmed. There is no guarantee that my child will not be molested in a public restroom. There are simply no guarantees. But homeschooling out of obedience to God means that I can rest in His assurance that He is guarding my family. I do not have to look over my shoulder every moment or keep my children in a bubble of protection. I know that I have dedicated each and every child to the Lord from the moment we were aware of his existence, and I know that He holds each child in His hands.

When I homeschool out of obedience to God, I can also turn to Him for guidance in the area of peer influence. Since my oldest son was very young, I have prayed over every single social opportunity that arose. God has been very faithful to let me know when I should and should not allow a child to participate in something. It has always been a source of amazement to me—and a source of some confusion to my children. When faced with the question, “But why can’t I do this?” I have often answered, “I’m not really sure; I just know that I don’t feel right about it in my spirit.” When this answer is not enough to satisfy them, I just encourage them to take it up with the Lord themselves. “You pray about it and then tell me if you really do get a different answer.” So far, that has never occurred. Still, I know for a certainty that some of my children have been exposed to things of which I do not approve. But because I am not homeschooling to insulate my children from peer pressure but rather in obedience to God, I know that He is taking care of everything. If I did keep my children from all possible semblance of peer pressure, what would they be like when they left my home and entered the real world? Would they have the strength they need to stand on their convictions? God has shown me that He is at work in their lives and that sometimes that means they will have to take a stand against friends. Turning to Him in every situation does not mean my children never have to deal with peer pressure; rather, it means that God is orchestrating their life lessons.

Over the past sixteen years, I have certainly seen the benefit of home schooling. I have seen that my children are stronger academically because I can work with them individually. I have seen that they know the Lord, because He is a part of their daily life through Bible study, instruction in righteousness, and personal discipleship. I have seen that they are safe in our home and can play in the yard without fear. I have seen that the negative influence of peers has been seriously minimized, because we carefully choose their activities. I homeschool for all of these reasons. Ultimately, though, there is only one reason that I am doing this. I know that God has called me to teach my children at home. Every time I have questioned my success or considered other alternatives because of life’s difficulties, God has lovingly but firmly left no doubt in my mind. It is His will that we homeschool our children. Why am I doing this? Because I must.

The post Why Am I Doing This? appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

You cannot homeschool through high school.

As with many of the myths of home schooling, this one is disappearing with time. Of course, many, many families have successfully homeschooled through high school (including our family!). Still, it can be a daunting consideration. Many people fear high school; but with so many options now open to home schoolers, we really have no reason to worry.

NUMBER 9

If you homeschool your children, they will all be geniuses.

Sorry … It is true that the one-on-one tutorial method is superior and that, on average, home schoolers have the test scores to prove it. However, there are just as many students struggling at home as in public schools. The good news is that with this low student to teacher ratio our students have a better chance of success.

NUMBER 8

A school room is essential to the success of your home school.

A school room is wonderful for organizational purposes, but it can become a trap. You begin to think of it as the room for learning. It is more important to understand that learning is occurring every minute of every day. Where does learning happen? – in the kitchen or the living room, in your yard, at the library or the neighborhood park … and even in the school room!

NUMBER 7

You are not qualified to teach your child.

Who is better qualified? A teacher having a degree in education does not guarantee your child a better education. Can you read? Can you learn? Perhaps the best answer you can give to a child’s query is, “I don’t know – let’s look it up!” Your heart for your child’s education will see you through.

NUMBER 6

You will leave huge gaps in your child’s education.

Oops—how did this one get in here? It is not a myth; it is true! But guess what. Public schools and private schools would also leave huge gaps. It is not possible to teach everything there is to know. Teach your child how to learn, and there will never be a gap that he cannot fill by himself.

NUMBER 5

The perfect curriculum will make the perfect home school.

Some will work better than others, but almost anything will do. The key is to use your curriculum as a resource. Do not let it be your master. Research learning styles and teaching methods and make informed choices; then be flexible enough to personalize the material for your situation.

NUMBER 4

You must do every exercise on every page of every workbook.

After all, you bought them! This is what happens when you become a slave to your curriculum. This is also one of the greatest causes of burnout, especially in children who do not enjoy bookwork. Have your student show mastery and then move on. Most workbook pages have busywork built in because they were designed for a classroom full of children. Each page must contain enough work to allow mastery by the slowest student in the class. Even workbooks designed specifically for home schoolers must make certain that there is enough work for the student to thoroughly understand a concept. When your child understands the concept completely, you can feel free to move on. Doing every single problem becomes overkill, and this is a major source of resistant behavior.

NUMBER 3

Your friends and family will understand.

Some of us are more fortunate than others, but almost everyone faces this at some time—the well-meaning neighbor who sees your children in the yard or parents and in-laws with educational backgrounds who feel their grandchild is being denied an adequate education. To combat this, try getting people involved. Introduce yourself to that neighbor and explain that you homeschool. Prepare work to show to the grandparents or host an open house with punch and cookies where your children display their work and/or give an oral report. If you have relatives who are truly antagonistic to the idea of home schooling, discuss with them your reasons for home schooling. Ask them to give their support to your efforts for a set amount of time—for example, one school year. Tell them you will be happy to sit down with them again at the end of that time to discuss your progress and to hear any concerns they still have. Ask them to not undermine your efforts during that year with a bad attitude or disparaging remarks but to be positive and supportive. It is very important to get them involved during that trial period. If they live nearby and have an area of specialty that could be turned into a class, ask them to become a teacher to your children or to oversee an extracurricular project like building a birdhouse or planting a small garden.

NUMBER 2

Your children will be social misfits.

This myth is not as troublesome as it once was; we now have statistics and results to disprove it. At no other time in a person’s life does he spend the better part of his day in a room surrounded by people his own age. Home schooling activities bring our children into contact with people of all ages, allowing them to develop true social skills.

And the NUMBER 1 HOME SCHOOLING MYTH (Drum roll, please …)

Home schooling will solve all of your problems.

Oh, how I wish this one was true! Alas, it is not. In fact, you may end up with a whole new set of problems! Just remember that God has called you to homeschool and He will equip you. If it is His plan for your family that you teach your children at home, then obedience to His call will bring great rewards!

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Have you heard the one about….?

I have always loved the funny lists that people come up with under the heading “You Might Be a Homeschooler If …” I found some great ones recently on ChristianTeens.net. Here are a few of my favorites:

… you come to school in your PJs.

… your school bus is a nine-passenger van.

… your teacher has ever written your report card on a napkin.

… you get to school and the teacher asks you if you’ve done your chores.

In fifteen years of home schooling, I have seen a lot of trends come and go. Let us see how you score on my quiz.

1. As a home schooler, your wardrobe consists primarily of

a. denim jumpers

b. t-shirts and jeans

c. slacks and tailored blouses

d. any of the above

2. At the home school convention you attend, the parking lot contains

a.  VW vans with flowers on the side

b. minivans

c. sports cars

d. all of the above

3. Your predominant teaching methodology is

a. classical

b. unit studies

c. textbook

d. any of the above

4. Your primary reason for home schooling is

a. to protect your child from a bully with a switchblade

b. academic excellence unmatched by public or private school

c. to raise your child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord

d. any of the above

5. In your home, the television set

a. stays on 24/7 as background noise

b. jumps back and forth between the History Channel and Discovery Science

c. was sold at a garage sale three years ago

d. any of the above

6. Your idea of family night is

a. reading aloud from Little Women

b. a rousing game of Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit

c. popcorn and “The Incredibles” on DVD

d. any of the above

If you answered anything but “d. any/all of the above,” you have not been to a home school convention in a while! There was a time when you could spot a lone home schooler in a crowd of a hundred people, but that is no longer the case. There is no longer such a thing as a stereotypical home schooler, even on the hallowed ground of a home school convention. You can no longer locate a lost child’s family by finding the eight other people wearing exactly the same outfit. Dad is at the convention not because Mom dragged him there but because he may be the primary stay-at-home teacher. Convention speakers have snazzy PowerPoint presentations for their workshops, where today’s home schooler takes notes on her handy notebook computer. Lunchtime chatter is not just about what to do with a toddler while trying to teach your six-year-old; now you overhear conversations about home-based business, UIL participation, and what to do with a toddler while trying to teach your six-year-old. (Okay, some things will always be the same …). My point is that the face of home schooling is changing. The question is, “How do we deal with these changes?”

I have seen firsthand the “new generation” of home schoolers. I find that people are choosing this lifestyle for a variety of reasons and are approaching it from many different perspectives. How can we meet the needs of the growing population of home schoolers? Veteran home schoolers should strive to inform and to assist. We can inform new home schoolers by sharing with them some of what we have learned in our years of home schooling. We can educate them about teaching methods, learning styles, lesson plans, and organization. We can introduce them to the wide variety of curricula available. Then we can assist them by helping them to determine what will work in their family. One of the most important things we can share with this new generation of home schoolers is the vision of the pioneering home schooling families that won for our state the great freedom that affords all home schoolers the same right to teach their children at home.

In reality, there is no such thing as a stereotypical home schooling family–we have always been a community of families with individual needs. The best way to serve new home schoolers is to help them find the educational situation that will fit their needs. This is true of all home schoolers no matter what they wear, what they drive, or even why they choose to teach their children at home. It behooves the home schooling community as a whole to strive for excellence. Let us look to the “new generation” of home schoolers with positive anticipation for what they can bring to our community. Let us reach out a helping hand and mentor them so that our community will grow stronger.

The post The Changing Face of Home Schoolers appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

Georgia Bailey sighed as she pulled out of the parking lot of the coffee house.  Mom’s Night Out meant so much to her and encouraged her tremendously as a home schooling mom, but sometimes these gatherings left her feeling so inadequate.  Everyone seemed to have it so together! Their home schools always seemed to run so smoothly! What was wrong with her? As she began the long drive home, she considered her own family.

Her husband, Marty, was enthusiastic about home schooling from the first moment Georgia mentioned it to him when Suzie was only four years old.  They had never regretted their decision to educate their children at home and loved everything about the home schooling lifestyle.  They made it to every home schooling convention they could and sat hand-in-hand during workshops, inspired by speakers who had blazed the trail for families who chose to go against the norm of society.  But tonight, as Georgia left the regular meeting for moms, she felt less than inspired.  She felt like a failure.

Her oldest daughter, Suzie, was sixteen years old.  She was a good student, but Georgia was having a difficult time keeping Suzie on task.  It was as if she lived with her head in the clouds and there were very few subjects that could hold her attention.   She had a real proficiency when it came to foreign languages and was currently whizzing through a French program.  In fact, Suzie made As and Bs in just about everything, but Georgia always felt somehow that she had failed in her efforts to make academics a priority for Suzie.  Suzie only cared about getting the work done so she could be about her own activities.

’s fourteen-year-old son Johnny was another case altogether and was the particular cause for her depression this evening.  They had had another argument today, and when she left home, Johnny was in his room—drawing, no doubt, instead of applying himself to the research project she had assigned a month ago.  It seemed that her son cared only about one thing:  his artwork.  Sometimes Georgia felt as though every day of school she had ever shared with her son had been a struggle.  It was especially frustrating because she knew how bright Johnny was.  She had used the argument, “… but you could do so much better!” until she was blue in the face, but to no avail.

“Well,” Georgia thought, sighing again, “at least there’s Georgie!” She smiled as she thought of her sweet eleven-year-old son.  What a delight he was! He was the apple of his father’s eye and the joy of his mother’s heart; but even Georgie was showing some signs of resistance to his schoolwork, and this was causing his mother great pain. 

“What is wrong with me?” Georgia thought again, for surely she must be the problem! Her husband was supportive; they were using the best curriculum on the market; and she had (for the most part) a good relationship with her children … what was wrong? She was no rookie to home schooling, and over the years she had researched learning styles and teaching techniques in order to provide the best material and environment for each child.  She knew that each child was different and worked to individualize her teaching and her expectations to meet their needs …  so what was wrong?

As Georgia continued to reflect on her dismal life, she became more and more despondent until finally, unable to hold back the tears, she pulled into the parking lot of a large grocery store and turned off the minivan.  Her hands flew to her face, and she began to sob uncontrollably.

“Oh, Lord,” she prayed, “Help me! Help me! I can’t do this anymore! I am a miserable failure, and I am going to ruin my children!”

Suddenly, Georgia sensed a presence next to her.  She raised her head from her hands and was startled to see a glowing figure in the minivan’s passenger seat.  Trying to decide whether she should flee or just faint, she found herself awed by this presence.  The glow began to fade, and before long Georgia found herself seated next to a rather plain-looking individual in a denim jumper, tennis shoes, and white bobby socks. 

“Who …  WHAT …  are you?” Georgia asked, fumbling for words.

“I am your guardian angel.  My name is Clara,” answered the presence. 

“My guardian angel?? Well, I guess you’re about the kind of guardian angel I would get!” laughed Georgia.  “Why are you here?”

“You asked our Heavenly Father for help, so He has sent me to minister to you,” replied Clara.

“Oh, that is so wonderful! Please, Clara, tell me what to do about my children.  I’ve just made a mess of this whole home schooling thing! I just don’t know what to do anymore.  Should I put my children in public school or maybe a good private school?  There is one very close to our home.”

“Well,” said Clara, “I suppose you could.  Of course since your children have never been in a classroom setting, they might have a bit of an adjustment ahead.”

“You’re right,” sighed Georgia, despondent again.  “I suppose it would be better if I had never started homeschooling at all!”

“Hmm …” said Clara under her breath.  “That might be possible.” Looking upward she was quiet for a moment; then she nodded and said, “That’s it then! You’ve never homeschooled!”

Instantly the minivan was transformed into a late model sedan, rather sporty in design and immaculate both inside and out.  Georgia gasped.  “What in the world has happened?!”

“Nothing ‘in the world,’ as a matter of fact,” answered Clara.  “You’ve just been given a wonderful gift–the chance to see what your children would be like if you had never homeschooled them.”

had dedicated her life to God when she was a young girl and was a strong believer in the power and love of God, but she just could not believe that He would answer her prayer in such a personal way.

“Well, then, don’t say anything …  just watch and listen,” responded Clara.  “First of all, perhaps you should let me drive.” With the blink of an eye, Clara and Georgia had changed positions and Clara was starting up the car.

“Where are we going?” asked Georgia apprehensively. 

“I need to explain something to you,” Clara said.  “We are not in your reality anymore, nor are we in your time.  I am going to show you what your children will be like in fifteen years if you had never homeschooled them.  We are on our way to Suzie’s house.”

“Oh, my!” thought Georgia.  “This is just amazing! I can’t wait to see how Suzie has turned out!”

Before long they pulled up to a large gate flanked by guardhouses.  Georgia was so impressed to think that Suzie had become so successful at …  well, something! She was amazed when, instead of speaking to the guards, Clara just drove the car right through the gates as though they were not there.  They drove up a long, winding driveway until they reached an enormous house. 

“What is this place?” asked Georgia.

“It is the Holy Grail Ashram,” replied Clara.  “This is where Suzie lives.”

“I don’t understand.  Is this Suzie’s house?”

“Well, in a manner of speaking.  She is considered by these people to be a great spiritual leader.”

“A great spiritual leader! That’s fantastic!”

“Well …  not so much.  You see, when Suzie was about fifteen years old, she was searching for meaning in her life.  Someone at school introduced her to some New Age teachings, and Suzie became more and more indoctrinated into those belief systems.  In this reality, she left home as soon as she graduated from high school, and you have not spoken to her since.”

“That’s not possible!” cried Georgia.  “Suzie may have her head in the clouds, but she loves the Lord with all her heart! Why, she wants to serve as a missionary in a remote village in Africa.  She heard about the needs for missionaries in that particular region when someone visited our church, and it’s all she talks about! She wants to witness to the people in that village.”

“The people in that village have yet to hear about the saving grace of God because Suzie chose another path because you chose another path.  Don’t you see, every life touches so many other lives?”

“Oh, this is just terrible!” thought Georgia.  She was afraid to ask about Johnny, but Clara, sensing her thoughts, brought up the subject.

“Would you like to know about Johnny?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Johnny left home at fourteen.  By the time he was twelve, he had been kicked out of school for repeatedly defacing public property, and he went from one private school to another until he finally gave up and left school and home to join his friends on the street.  The local gangs all liked Johnny because of his superior artwork, but it took a lot more than a little graffiti to reach the high rank he now holds.”

“No, no! That just can’t be! Johnny is a good boy! He’s a good boy!”

“Johnny needed the individual attention you were able to give him to make it through the academics of school.  In a public school setting, he was just seen as a slacker and a troublemaker, so that is what he became.”

Clara reached out to touch Georgia’s shoulder as if to steady her.  “Would you like to see Georgie now?” In her numbness, Georgia just nodded.

They pulled up in front of a high rise building just as a handsome man exited.  Georgia recognized him immediately as the older version of her sweet little boy.  Hesitantly, she inquired, “What does he do?”

“Oh, Georgie is quite a success story!” beamed Clara.  “He made short work of college, graduating at the top of his class.  He now holds a master’s degree and is one of the wealthiest men in this state.”

“Well, finally!” said Georgia.  “I always knew Georgie would turn out well! What about family? Does he have children?”

“Georgie doesn’t really have the time, or the inclination, for family.  You see, he works upwards of eighty hours a week (The business world is very competitive, you know.)  To stay at the top of his game, he must devote himself exclusively to his corporation.”

“Of course, I can understand that,” retorted Georgia, “but surely he has time for a social life.”

“He makes time when socializing would benefit him in some way.  He has a regular golf date with a couple of local politicians, and he often cuts the day short for a game of racquetball when his scout reports to him that his competition is at the gym.”

“Look, I know that businessmen must work hard, but I just can’t see Georgie turning out like this.  His father passed up a big promotion in the corporate world in order to begin working out of our home.  We aren’t as well off as we might like, but Marty makes a good living, and—more importantly—he has been a wonderful role model for all our children.  They know that family is Marty’s priority, and I just don’t think Georgie would choose … “

A little impatient, Clara interrupted, “In this reality, Marty took that promotion.  Why would he choose to be at home? You and the children were gone all day.  As soon as Georgie was school age, you returned to the work force and have been there ever since.  It was your salary that paid for this cute little car of yours.  Sure, Marty is a good Christian father who tries to be a good role model, but what he really models in this reality is that working to get ahead and provide things for his family is his priority.”

For the first time, Georgia began to clearly understand what she was seeing this evening.  “Oh, Clara,” she cried, “I just don’t know what to say!”

Clara’s countenance softened as she sensed Georgia’s brokenness.  After a moment’s pause she said, “So you see, Georgia, yours really is a wonderful home school.  Your problem is that you look at your efforts with your eyes, not with God’s eye.  If He has called you to homeschool your children, you must trust that He has His reasons.  Don’t be so quick to judge yourself a failure.  While you may struggle and stumble in this present day, if you will stay the course, your obedience to God’s call will someday garner you the ultimate praise, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.’”

Georgia leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes, praying as she did, “Lord, forgive my weakness and my fear.  Thank You for reminding me that the rewards of this lifestyle are eternal.  Thank You for giving me the opportunity to raise children that love and honor You.  Thank You for my home school!”

Her cell phone started ringing, bringing Georgia back to the moment.  When she opened her eyes, she found herself all alone in the driver’s seat of her minivan.  She answered the phone and heard Johnny’s voice.  “Mom, are you coming home, or what?”

“Yes, Johnny, I’m on my way.  What’s up?”

“Well, I just thought you were gonna help me with this goofy paper – that’s all! I can’t find anything on this Machiavelli guy, and you said you would help!”

“I’ll be home in ten minutes, but I had an idea tonight.  Instead of Machiavelli, why don’t we do your report on Leonardo da Vinci? I think you might find him a little more interesting.”

“Yeah, whatever ….”

The post It’s a Wonderful Home School appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

Two years ago I had a very bad year. In July when my morning sickness was at its peak, I found we would have to move. The month of August was spent trying to find a place and secure financing. In September we moved our enormous household. In October my mother-in-law underwent quadruple bypass surgery. In November my brother underwent emergency colon surgery. In December our only vehicle was totaled. In February our sweet little David was born, and, of course, we all know how school goes with a new baby in the house! While most families were finishing up the school year, we were covering lessons about Christmas! We had to schedule school through the summer with a short break before starting again in September. My house? After seven months it still looked like we had just moved in. I felt that all I ever did was yell at my kids and take my husband for granted. For every good day, I had five bad days. For every day we accomplished school, we seemed to miss three! I would take one step forward and three steps back. In the end, I crumbled before God and wept and wept and said, “God, I am a miserable failure. Everything in my world is a mess. I cannot do this!!” Do you know what God answered? He said, “That is what I was waiting to hear…” His answer to me involved three passages of scripture written by Paul.

The first passage has been dear to me for a long time. My Bible calls it “The Strife of the Two Natures,” but I call it the 3:00 a.m. passage because it sounds like the kind of struggle you have with yourself at 3 o’clock in the morning when you cannot sleep and you are trying to figure out the mysteries of existence. It is found in Romans 7 verses 15 through 25. The gist of the passage is that “…the things that I don’t want to do, those are the things that I do and the things that I do want to do, I do not…” Does that not sound just like our home schooling struggle? I do not want to fuss at my kids or neglect my lesson plans or fall behind, but that is where I find myself over and over. I want to be patient and loving and encouraging and to find the methods that work for my child, but I just cannot seem to accomplish that. Paul was talking about our human nature struggling against our desire to please God; I see such a clear correlation to my desire to be a good home schooler.

The next passage gives me an answer to this “Strife of the Two Natures.” In fact, I think this is one of the most important passages in the Bible – not because it is so revolutionary but because it is so simple and basic. Of course that is why we often forget its great truth and wisdom! When I reach the point of complete breakdown and I throw myself before God and say, “God, I cannot do this,” God says the same thing to me that He said to Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 –

“My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” In this passage, Paul is talking about a thorn in his flesh, and there are days when my home schooling lifestyle feels like a thorn in my flesh! But listen to the reason for the thorn in verse 7: “Lest I should be exalted above measure…” In verses 9-10, Paul goes on to say, “…Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then am I strong.” When I admit that I cannot do it, it is at that moment that God can begin to work. “When I am weak, then am I strong.

Are you struggling? Do you feel that nothing is going the way it should? You cannot find a math program that works, your children are fighting with each other, and your husband is depressed because he never has clean socks? You are all bound in what you are able to do, and you are realizing that you are not able to do it all. “Can you do it? NO YOU CAN’T” – at least not without help. Here is your help: my third passage of scripture, Philippians 4:6-13.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things… Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how In May 2001 (my Very Bad Year), my family went to the Capitol for the home-school rally. The weather was not terrible but was pretty warm, and the day turned into a long one when we stopped on the way home for groceries and fast food. By the time we got home, I had prepared myself for a miserable evening – I knew everyone was hot and tired, and I expected them to be fighting and whining and generally making me wish I could sell them to a band of traveling gypsies. But a very funny thing happened – we put away the groceries and ate our fried chicken without too much fuss. About half an hour later, I found myself in the living room feeding the baby while the rest of my family participated in one activity or another. Laura (9) was helping Nathan (2) with a puzzle while Lee (4) quietly worked another puzzle. Rachel (5) was sitting in her daddy’s lap while he read her a story. My 7-year-old, Sarah, was sitting next to me on the couch reading a story to herself. My 15-year-old was a few feet away working on a Lego project in his room. It was such a peaceful scene! I relished it, breathed it in, drank of it…I took a mental picture of it and posted it on the bulletin board of my mind as a constant reminder that God IS good.

When I went on my knees before God, He heard my request. I told Him that I could not go on, and He said, “My grace is sufficient for thee.” When I sat in my living room that night, He pointed out to me the beauty that is my family, and He said, “Think on these things,” and He filled me with the peace that passeth all understanding.

Yes, my house is still a mess and continues to make me feel like the worst housekeeper who ever lived. Yes, at the end of the week I still see lessons that were not completed and projects that were not finished – or even started! Yes, my kids still fight with each other. Will I ever learn “in whatever state I am, in this to be content”? I do not know. I know I will continue to have problems. I wish I could tell you that the home-schooling lifestyle is perfect – your children will be obedient, and your husband will take over all the housework or get an enormous raise and hire a maid for you, but the truth is, you will still have problems – you will face illness, financial problems, emotional problems, or marital problems. Remember the thorn in Paul’s flesh? I believe there are two reasons we, as home-schooling mothers, face these struggles. First, we have made our families a priority. We have gone against society and decided we want something better. And for that the enemy will come against us. I cannot tell you how many families I know who faced huge problems just days after making the decision to homeschool. However, there is another reason for the thorns – the reason Paul mentioned – if I am weak, then His strength is made perfect. If I can do it all on my own, then it is just about me being a terrific home schooler. How many of us stay humbled before God when things are going great? These struggles serve to keep us where we belong – on our knees before God. So that “in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving” we will let our requests be made known unto God – in everything – in curriculum choices, in dealing with resistance, in running our homes. If it were easy, would you turn it over to God? It is not easy. In fact, at times it can be downright staggering. Now, I truly do not believe that home schooling is for everyone or for every season; but I beg you, if you ever think about giving up – and you probably will – do not do it because of what you are not able to do. Listen to Paul, “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.”

I hope you will remember my words if you face a year like I had. Some of you will face trials much greater than those I have mentioned here. Some of you will be crippled by less than what I have experienced. All of you will hear the enemy say to you at least once, “Why are you doing this?” He might point around your house and say, “You cannot even get the basket of socks sorted – what makes you think you’ve got it together enough to teach your children?” When that happens, remember these three things: God’s grace is sufficient unto you, His strength is made perfect in your weakness, and you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Continue to be obedient and let God take care of the rest.

The post Homeschooling? Yes! You Can! appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.

In the beginning, when people asked me about my choice to homeschool, my pat answer was that I wanted to teach my son at home because of what the public school did not teach and because of what they did teach. I was discouraged by the shift of focus from strong academics to the agenda of secular humanists and New Agers. When my husband Lee speaks about our home-school experience, he says that in the beginning he was very supportive of the idea; he told me “It sounds fine, Honey… go right ahead and do it.” My, my but we have come a long way!

For the first few years of home schooling, I felt rather like an island. Everything went very well. My son and I both enjoyed school tremendously; however, we did not participate in any outside activities or even spend time with other home schoolers. When he began to outgrow the early elementary material, I sensed the need to better equip myself. The local support group, the Christian Home Education Association of Austin (CHEA), offered monthly meetings, a newsletter, and a yearly book fair. This put us in touch with more and more like-minded families. Before we knew it, Lee and I were serving on the board of this very worthwhile organization. We held the position of Logistics and later that of Publicity, with the main responsibility being that of Newsletter Editor. What a wonderful experience! We strongly encourage those who have not taken a turn at leadership within their local community to reach out and become involved. The friendships we formed during those years of service are still some of our strongest.

Our years with CHEA saw many changes in that organization. Growth in the Austin home-schooling community was such that CHEA eventually became a regional organization serving all of Central Texas (CHEA of Central Texas, CHEACT). Toward the end of our tenure as publicity chairpersons, we helped start an orientation program for new and potential home schoolers. Monthly meetings were held at two local branches of the public library. When we chose to leave the CHEACT board, we continued to conduct these informational meetings in our part of Austin. Lee and I both felt renewed and encouraged whenever we spoke to people about the home-schooling lifestyle.

After about eighteen months of conducting these library meetings, the Lord laid a new project on my heart. Many people have heard me tell the story about the inception of Smoothing the Way, the support group for new home schoolers. I do not know when in my life I have ever received such a fully-formed idea as that of Smoothing the Way. I knew from that very first moment that this idea was from the Lord, and I felt–and feel to this day–honored and humbled to be a part of it. I had been thinking about all the people I met at the library meetings and feeling burdened to provide more help for them. I knew they would be fine if they could just get connected and equipped with some basic information. Then the idea came – what about a support group dedicated to meeting the needs of the brand-new home schooler? It could focus on that first important year, walking the new home schooler through the first questions and the early struggles. The group could be led by a couple of veteran, home-schooling moms who could offer suggestions and anecdotes from their own experiences. I knew so many veteran home schoolers who, like me, enjoyed spending time encouraging those who were just beginning this wonderful adventure. Lee and I prayed about how to get this project started, and the Lord prompted me to call someone who had helped us with our library meetings in the past. I remain grateful that Diane Broadway answered God’s call and became Smoothing the Way’s co-founder and my very dear friend.

In June 1999 Diane and I sat in a restaurant with another home-schooling mom and put together the Smoothing the Way calendar. It was our decision that this would basically operate as a one-year course to get the “newbie” grounded by providing the information she needed most. We carefully considered the first questions that home schoolers always seem to ask (about lesson plans, schedules, curriculum, teaching difficult children, keeping the house clean), and we developed a calendar that we felt would take those questions in the order they would most likely come. We started the year with two groups: one in south Austin, which Diane and I led, and one in north Austin led by our friend, Sara Kokajko. Our first meeting had three participants. By the end of the year, at our graduation ceremony, we had about fifteen regulars. We just began our fourth year with twenty-five Smoothing the Way groups and have officially branched out of Texas, with one group in Washington State. Smoothing the Way is now incorporated as a not-for-profit organization, and we continue to seek new ways to meet the needs of new home schoolers. In February 2002 we developed a one-day seminar specifically for those teaching children under the age of five. Starting the Way is still in its early stages of development, but participants have been very enthusiastic, and interest is high for future engagements. Diane and I both enjoy sharing some of our workshops at home-school conventions or local support group meetings. God has blessed us by raising up new Smoothing the Way leaders wherever we go. We continue to rely upon His guidance to manage the remarkable growth we have seen. In August 2002 Diane and I were named THSC’s Support Group Leaders of the Year. We were both stunned but deeply gratified when we read the precious letters of nomination written by some of our dear “Smoothies.”

As I said, Lee and I have come a long way in our thinking about home education. Oh, I still make those 3-Rs a top priority, and Lee still lets me do most of the teaching, but we have come to see that home education is really more about “home” than about “education.” If all we did were focus on teaching our children to read and write, we would be missing most of God’s plan for our family. Rather, we have made building a godly family our main goal, and it is the standard by which all activities and accomplishments are measured. While I do most of the teaching, my husband has become actively involved in the entire process (from choosing curriculum to overseeing the feeding of the two silkworms we are raising). When he speaks to new home schooling fathers, he is passionate about the father’s role as visionary, protector, and provider. He is my greatest champion and is always willing to listen to me think aloud about whatever struggles I might be facing. His advice is well thought-out and has been useful on many occasions! My role has changed from being a strict taskmaster to being a mother who hopes she has encouraged a love of learning in her children. Our children (Daniel, 17; Laura, 11; Sarah, 8; Rachel, 7; Lee IV, 6; Nathan, 4; and David, 2) have become the delight that God intended them to be, and we thank Him every day for His great outpouring of blessings upon our household.

The post Meet the James Family appeared first on Texas Home School Coalition.